A girl's heart should be so lost in God that a guy must seek Him to find her.

Guards up!

I missed this! Blogging midnight with thoughts I can't even understand.

You see, I don't want to fall in love. No, not yet.

I have stated my standards already and as of now, I can't say that I deserve that someone if ever I already met him by chance.

It's been troubling me ever since the church has been opened with this kind of issue. Well, it's not like it's not a godly relationship but rather unusual. I grew up with those people focused about the well being of the church. And here goes these people strangled on their relationships as opposite sex.

I won't understand unless I wore and walk on their shoes. True.
And I don't want that.
No, not yet.

Priorities.

Dreams.

There's just so much I wanted to do and enjoy, and I believe that something like won't help me in achieving what I really wanted to do. It's troubling, awkward, tempting, annoying or envy. I'm still not up for that. I still want to learn more, move more, see for myself that I am doing what I wanted to do for the longest time.

But what do I want to do?

What is my cause?

If I were to evaluate my priorities, my family comes first and then my dream. My dream to become a versatile visual artist and inspire and tell the world that THIS IS BECAUSE OF FAITH; BECAUSE OF GOD.

But whenever I try recalling this, His voice never fails my hearing: PUT GOD FIRST. 
My priority, it should have been like that.

After a long journey, I have met this message again, PUT ME FIRST - in everything. I remember the sermon a while ago: IF YOU TRUST GOD FOR YOUR SALVATION, WHY WON'T YOU TRUST HIM WITH YOU LIFETIME PARTNER THEN? So this goes out for all the youths out there impatience to know WHO MIGHT IT BE.

But you know, one thing I realized in this journey is that, guarding your heart is really hard. Really, really hard. Specially when faces are the same? Fickles and Flings are inevitable, unstoppable. But what can you do?

Stand on your ground. You need not to stoop a level just to make it all even. No, you have your own calling and you need to stand on it. In everything, God has allowed things to happen in our life so that we may see how much He wanted us to be accounted as righteous. He allows us to experience it not just because He wanted us to be stronger but also He wants us to understand that there is no impossible to things we believe we deserve to have.

You and I have differences yet what makes it beautiful is how we fit in each other's holes.

I am not bitter. I might be afraid. But what is clear to me right now is that I have to fight for my top priority. And when the time comes when I need to face what I am most afraid of, then I believe I have been trained well to be able to be in a threshold in facing it.

There's just so much that I don't understand yet but I will wait, for my hope is in the Lord. 

For September :)

Hi October! My university days are really counted.

Happy 21st, Rau.

"Yea, though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death,
I will fear no evil;
For You are with me;
Your rod and Your staff, they comfort me."

"A thousand may fall at your side,
And ten thousand at your right hand;
But it shall not come near you."

"In all your ways acknowledge Him,
and He shall direct your path."

"If you have felt hopeless, hold on! Wonderful changes are going to happen in your life as you begin to live it on purpose."

"God is preparing you for greater things."


 

#psalm23 #psalm91 #proverbs3 #rickwarren

Twenty One

I know He's carrying out His promises into fulfillment. I see it coming true. Yet my eyes still couldn't believe it. My heart says to never fall for it again but His faithfulness shows.

For twenty one years, You have protected me. For twenty one years, you have been with me. For twenty one years, You are always waiting and calling for me. You never left me. You always held my hand even. You have always been my mentor. You have always left a word inside me, vague but has always been in front of me.
 
Thank You for the gift of life. Thank you for Your promises true. Thank You for making me grow. Thank You for changing me. Lord, it's time for me to bring back the favor to You. Let me share the opportunity of having a relationship with You to others. Help me discern your guidance.

My heart leaps with joy. An unexplainable feeling that it I am who I am. Whatever struggles I am in, I am victorious. No matter how the enemy tries to conceal You away from me, I will always come back to You, I know I will, always. The enemy will always get me in the wrong path, wrong thinking, wrong living. But Your Spirit will never depart me, Your light will always be my guiding path. 

I will fear no evil for Thou art with me.

Thank You because we will continue. 
Thank You because we will get strong. 
Thank You because we will meet soon.

That moment when that someone you love smiles back at you. Awww~