you know what's harder than keeping it to yourself? it's holding it all together as if nothing's broken. making a face, forcing yourself to function, and be strong.

Hurt in private.
Heal in silence.
Shine in public.

The only way to get through pain, is to go through it. 

Courage, dear heart. May you never lose the heart to love. Do not let the world make you hate its brokenness. Broken it may be, it's still beautiful and glorious. They remain to be treasures, precious, worthy, deserving.

Thank you, Jesus. 

To love better and get wiser.

xxvii

How do you think this year's celebration would be?

With all that is happening, how do you think this will turn out?

I, honestly, am looking forward for this year celebration... 
But, well I guess I have to lower a bit my expectations... 

Tonight's kind'a hurtful night. 
It's one of those days you thought everything was just fine, but actually not. 
Another stressful nights. 
Another days to overcome.

I thought
the cost for the call was bearing too much
and it feels like I don't wanna do what I do
I don't want to be someone called leader
I don't want to play bass
I don't want to do anything that will cost brokenness

But that's exactly what Jesus overcame
The more I reasoned out I don't want to
The more I realized I am doing because
Of what He has done for me
I can't just get Jesus out of the picture

"There is a greater story to be told."

And this where my faith lies now...
How God will turn this all out... 
So now all I could muster is to pray and 
continue to follow Jesus 
regardless of the outcome

There might be reminders of our shortcomings
weaknesses, and inacapabilities
But it's also where God becomes the God
He consumes everything like a fire
He consumes

This year, 
I pray for everyone to be strong in faith
I pray for everyone to recieve grace
I pray for everyone to overflow in love
I pray for everyone for good health
I pray for everyone to be full of joy
I pray for better days
I pray for breakthroughs 
I pray for beaty and glory be unveiled
I pray for everyone delight in the Lord
I speak growth
I speak promotion
I speak truth
I speak discipline
I speak fruitfulness
I speak power
I speak trust
I speak obedience
in Jesus' name.