We are the kids your mother warned you about :)

Yea. We're not yet complete in that photo, tho. 

I also want someone who tells me they're proud of me, you know. :/

I know I'll cry for you. Much better kung ngayon na. :)

I'll post some of the last photos I took before I graduated, soon. I'll still be editing some of it as you know. Haha. I always want it my way; do it my way.

Summer kicks, Golden streaks

Late post. Late update.

Heyaaa. I've become one of the world's unemployed citizen since March 22, 2014. How does it feel? Mmmm. Honestly, I felt fine. I mean, I felt it was just another celebration to wear make up and dress up and walk with chin up. I don't know. It was rather dramatic after the event tho. I had a fight with my parents right after grad, so who wouldn't be a wreck on a supposed great day? Heck with their annoying presence that time. During the graduation, my toes were aching because my shoes-size were short for a .5, to bad for me right? I didn't have much pictures with friends because I only have few, and I was already having a bad mood after knowing that our course was removed in the University. Really. It's discriminating and disappointing. Anyways, too much reminiscing those nerve wrecking times. So yeah, I got home after some plastic smile. And because I was at war, I just locked myself the entire night at my room. I didn't have someone to speak because I was really irritated.

The next morning, I was awaken by the usual ritual. Nanay's usual voice clock. They're busy preparing for the double celebration that day. My grad and the house blessing. And because I was not in the mood, I didn't want to see them. Such a rebel? Nah, just pure stubborn. I didn't invite any friends, nor those I planned to come since I felt everything came from a shot-gun decision. Well, it's not like that really. They told me about it earlier yet continually fight over the expenses. See? Who would've want to have a celebration if you see that root coming out from the soil wildly. Really, it pisses me off. I wanna tell them: GIVE ME A BREAK. JUST LEAVE ME ALONE. But of course, I can't do that. My tongue's quite the goody-shoes here and like I would like to starve myself with desserts!

Then came this month. April. This Sunday, I'll be taking the CS PROF EXAM so hopefully I'd be able to get through it. And by the next weekends, I'll be having reviews for my licensing exam. I want to pass it like CRAZY. I want this to be part of my self-worth. Yes, because I want to tell the world that I AM NOT JUST YOUR ORDINARY GIRL. I can't be that. Because I am not that, darling. I'll take it seriously. Specially after hearing my aunt's opinion about my unheard field, such a failure. I want to backfire, but something in my mind tells me: IT'S NOT THAT, YOU ARE MORE THAN THAT.

Like do I have any other choice but to look forward and press on to that? I mean, I can not look down to myself any longer, right? Ordinary? Please. I am selfish. And I do not like it crowding in. I will stand out, you'll see. This? Is just a stepping stone into the becoming me of the future. Yes. I'll make my way. We'll make our way to the top, they'll see. I can't settle for less right now, because I'm still at dawn of a brand new journey.

P.S. Hoping for the best, always

Nangangamoy Toga na, Nangangamoy Aral ka na ba?

It's times like these when I feel paranoid what's going to happen tomorrow. Anyways, I've been living todays like asking tomorrow to be good to me. I'm really afraid, to be honest. I mean, I've been living my life, this life, because of my parents support. And just a while ago, while I was counting days in my head, I asked myself: What if my life tomorrows won't be as great as it would be? I'm afraid. Like for real. To step in outside my comfort zone, and see the world itself. Of course, My dreams are just waiting in wings you know and I understand that there's a plenty of waiting to happen. And it won't come to pass without receiving my diploma right? Sigh. Life's really hard. Guess I really need to work my ass off, I wonder how I could meet that desire one day. Hehe. Anyways, I've been thinking too much about the future lately. Late nights, random thoughts about the future is ranting in my head. Even in the morning, I can't stop daydreaming about it. I know, I know, there's nothing wrong about it right? But what if those thoughts make you weary; draining all your energy, worry has its own way of torturing me. It's a bad habit of mine. I thought I've already thrown it away, but look who's knocking and making me all hypothetical about the future. Such a futuristic person eh? Haha. Anyways, I know that these are just lies from the enemy 'ya know? Sometimes, I find myself smiling at the thought: God really has great plans for me, why so? Because the enemy won't work this hard, beating out the most of me, if he don't see God working me on a threshold. Quite the idea, baby! Haha. That's something I really look forward. I'll be patient. I'll work best. I'll make everything a reason to thank Him day by day. I'll always pave a way in making my prayer life get stronger than ever. I wanna hear Him frequently. It's the safest in His leading after all, don't you agree?