"to confidently trust Him whether you feel Him not"

PTSD nights

Everyone is not as strong as you. 

For people who are unfamiliar with depression, anxiety attacks and PTSD (post traumatic stress disorder), I don't know how to convey it to you. But please be considerate of your actions. Be kind to everyone you meet. You don't know what they are going through, inside and alone.

Repetitive scenarios keep on haunting. Not that it is wanted or welcomed, but was just triggered then once again fears, failures, pain paralyze. And this is not to count against the offender; no, no more condemnation and guilt. but you see, thoughtless actions led to a deep and long-term healing process.

This is a personal battle for the one experiencing those negative thought pattern. As much as the people have moved on, how much more the other party wants to also. You see, taking ourselves out of the picture is not easy peasy... and recall something about what happened. But with constant security of healing and redemption, I know the battle is already won. 

And Yes, this is how hard the mind battle is. Every. Single. Time. 

So I hope that this address brings awareness to everyone (who needs it). 

Please understand. 

Please be patient. 

Please process with them.

Day One

Lord, thank you for these people who have surrounded me. To remind me that you desire for us to enjoy this season, just because. 

Thank you for the life of Rachel. 

God, even if daghan kaayo mi sayop,

and gahi mi kaayo ug ulo, 

grabe lang Kaykag grasya. 

Forgiveness. Provision. Love. 

Thank you kaayo.

I pray for breakthrough in her finances,

na makabayad na sha sa iyang mga debts

and that your redemption story in this area

of her life will be strong and true. 

I pray for her desire to have a husband,

God, may you grant the desires of her heart. 

May Your will be done. May she enjoy

this season of waiting on You, God,

more than anything else. 

God, I pray for Earl. Continue to bring out

the best in him. Let him grow in Your strength

and grace. May you overflow Your might

arresting his heart with Your strength. 

Give him courage; take him by the hand

as he ventures to conquer territories and fear.

God, I believe that You can and will do and accomplish

so much and great things in His life.

Continue to shine Your light to Your son. 

Continue to make him choose You, always.

God, I pray for Gee Ann. 

I thank You for her life!! Thank you for leading her.

Thank you because You are opening her heart

in the grandness of Your grace. Thank You

because You have blessed our relationship. 

God, I know dili man jud all the time na maging 

smooth lang permi, and days like these,

with their lives, will remind me that You are for us. 

I pray that You continually secure her with

that she is fully known and yet deeply loved.

God, thank you Tinay.

Indeed, she is someone na lami kaayo alagaan. 

Thank you for securing our relationship

na bisag daghan na kaayog insecurities and

misunderstandings, still we can count on one another. 

I pray that you bless your obedience. 

I pray that you answer her her prayer for her family. 

I know You are making her become the woman

You have best in mind. Direct her to paths, 

open her heart and mind to Your ways. 

Thank you for such a beautiful soul, Jesus. 

God, I pray for Val. 

Thank you for the healing. Thank you for overtaking

his soul. Thank you because You are mindful of him. 

Thank you because You have never left him. 

May Your faithfulness continually remind 

him of his desire to love, obey You. 

May his life indeed be a powerful message 

for everyone to be encouraged. 

Thank you for saving his faith since the

beginning, in the middle and upto the end. 

God, I pray for Janced.

Thank you because young as he is, 

he never intimidated with reality.

As you have open the world to him, 

the possibility to everything, 

may you also open his heart

to be humble and love. 

May you remind him always 

of what you've done, 

that's not about what we can offer, 

but what You've already declared

finished on the cross. 

Lord, I pray for BJ. 

I pray that you give her rest. 

Rest from every insecurity

from every lie

from every weight that

grabs her confidence to You. 

Lord, You are in the midst of her, 

she will rise again on a better version. 

Let Your glory speak in her life. 

You have provided every spiritual 

blessing she needs and will need. 

Heal her from the very depths of her soul, 

and make Your love stronger than ever in her. 

Lord, I pray that you help me

be the best for them.

I know I will not be always around for them, 

so help me to always surrender. 

Help me God to keep my heart right to You. 

You and You alone, God. 

Thank you, Jesus! 🌼✨

Pray and believe 🎶

Save your eyes

From your tears

When everything's unclear

You'll be safe here

From the sheer weight

of your doubts and fears

Wounded heart

When the light disappears

And when the world's insincere

You'll be safe here

When nobody hears you scream

I'll scream with you

You'll be safe here

In my arms

through the long cold night

Sleep tight

You'll be safe here

When no one understands

I'll believe

You'll be safe here

Put your heart

In my hand

You'll be safe here

day fifty four

Hi Lord,

Today's another tear-full day. There are things that I still don't understand, things that I don't know, things that I just wanna quit on. But still, thank you for being faithful... for still meeting me even if I turn a blind eye or close my ears from the things that You are showing and telling me.

"Sometimes, you just have to choose yourself and God. Before others. God understands. God will lead you to them, eventually in His time."

Thank you for the comfort. Thank you for hearing me out. Thank you for unearthing all the fears, frustrations and failures that I feel. All at the same time, it numbs and shuts me out. But Lord, you are holding me. Thank you for quieting everything. Thank you for keeping me still. Thank you that all, even my consequences, are leading me closer to you.

I don't bring much this season to you. You see, I'm all broken and shut down. I can't open my mouth. I can't think well. But God, here's my life. Rather than choosing it away, I offer it to you. I know that for how many times, you have heard this from me, and you still take me anyway. And I let go. Let your will be done. Everyday is still kind'a painful for this new normal, but "Whatever happens will be wonderful."

Lord, I'm holding on to Your promises to me, that I will see Your goodness in the land of the living. Help me get through this. I will take this path as you lead and take me by the hand. I will not be afraid. It might be painful for a season but your glory will be revealed through it all. "The Lord gives, the Lord takes away. Blessed be Your name, forever!"

God, help me continue this battle. Help me trust in Your Word. Help me love Your people deeper. Create in me a pure heart and renew a right spirit in me. Help me trust in You and lean not in my own understanding. Help me hold on to you more and more. Lord, give me wisdom that I may know that path you are leading me and how to make decisions. Help me process things, God. Help me think safely in the mind.

Lord, I pray for Tin, Alison, James, Mixon, Edel and Janced.

May their desires be granted. May you give them peace as they patiently wait for You.

Bless the works of their hands and protect them in Your loving kindness.

May Your Spirit empower them to be influencers amongst their crowd, their generation.

Let your steadfast love and goodness and faithfulness steady their confidence in You.

Thank you for their lives, O God.

Continually set them free in Your love.

In Jesus' name.

Lord, I pray for Clarisse.

Meet her in her desperation to keep Your commands God.

Speak and encourage her with Your promises.

Give her a good rest tonight God and satisfy her with Your love.

May she find peace in the midst of the pressing desires and rush from the world.

God, have mercy on us. We cried for help and you healed us.

Inside and out, take over.

We surrender it all to you.

We thank you God, for you are good and faithful.

We continue to hold on to You.

We will wait.

We will wait on You.

And as we do, you shall raise us and make us soar like wings like eagles.

We shall walk and not grow tired.

We shall run and not faint.

And I pray for Earl.

Strengthen him. Hold him. Embrace Him. 

Refresh him everyday.

Make him taste and see your faithfulness and goodness!

The Lord God is in his midst, The Mighty One who saves

You rejoice over him with gladness

You quiet him by His love

And You rejoice over Him with loud singing

Surround him with Your favor

Let Your Spirit make him a warrior

and a king You have chosen for Your own.

Thank you, Lord.

Remain unchallenged in our hearts.

You are still enthroned in our hearts.

In Jesus' mighty name.

Amen.

Amazing grace abounds.

I'll wave goodbye, watching you shine bright. 🎶