I miss you everyday.

sun to sun

The night he told me about those moments, I felt nothing. Like I heard stories like his before, and the redemption in Jesus' name. But now, as his stories just suddenly visit me, it's starting to sink in.

Right now, I feel deeply sad. Not because I'm disappointed, but because I know he was hurting all those times. I wish to could've wiped his tears when it all hurt so much. I wish to coul've held his hand when nothing made sense. I wish to could've sat beside him, at the least.

But in Your goodness and mercy, I know you allowed it to happen. In your loving kindness, I was not there in every moment. BECAUSE YOU WERE THERE, YOU ARE ALWAYS THERE. You wiped his tears when it all hurt so much. You held his hand when nothing made sense. You sat beside him, always. 

Now, I thank You Lord for the story that is yet to be told. I thank You for every life that You are making, sanctifying and refining. You look after us; not for a moment Your eyes turned away from us. You teach us to be courageous in the journey. You teach us where to find satisfying and everlasting joy.

Lord, I may never be the most wise person in this generation. I may never be pefect. I may never be very obedient bucause I always find it hard to. And there's nothing really I can offer you because I'm broken, worse unworthy. But I will rest in Your promise of hope in Jesus... Mynone amd greatest desore to honor and glorify You all the days of my life.

Our lives, O Lord. May it be a pleasing sacrifice to You. 

Lord, remind me of the things I've long forgotten.

To honor and glorify God in every decision and all seasons.

Lord, pwede isang ESV Study Bible sa akong bithdaaay. 😭✨

I miss you.

Kaayo jud. Hahaha.

Diri nalang nako isulti kay di man pwede. Hahaha.

Hi Lord, ok lang? Hahahahahays.

Seven things

Earl Justin, I don't know if I'll be able to tell this to you but since then you have been in my prayers... not to ask for you, but to let you experience the best that God will reward you.

Tonight is an answered prayer. I'm scared that you'll leave me. I'm scared that I won't be able to love and serve and cherish you as much I desire. I'm scared that I will just ruin everything God has for you because I am this weak in my conviction to be right with God and you. I don't wanna make you contend with God's nor with the people He surrounds us. I won't intend to replace God's throne in our hearts. And ultimately, I'm scared that with all that's happening, the thought of leaving the One who loved me the most... that would be very unbearable.

So here's seven things I wanna tell you but I'll keep it to God for now. I don't want to pre-empt anything, but let God create. For whatever He creates, He loves. And what He loves, He sustains and keeps until the very end. May the entire process and progress be glorifying to Him who is worthy of it all! 

1) I don't wanna waste God's trust. His goodness and kindness. I don't want to waste the trust of those who loves us too.

2) I hope to make you proud in this decision. 

3) I wanna tell the world that I'm proud of you. A lot of times I wanna do it but I always holdback. And yea, I wanna tell the world of the treasure that I found. 

4) I wanna do a lot of things with you, and celebrate it with everybody. And there's no more hiding or fear because God says so. 

5) I wanna let you experience and indulge God's fullness of life without fear, without considering anything but to enjoy God to the fullest.

6) I wanna let you live without worrying about compromising what you have begun with God. 

7) And I wanna let you go, and be free from me.

And if God permits me to stay in the garden He is growing in you, then I'll be forever thankful. But even not, I will remain forever thankful. And all the more praise Him for letting me see you to be the best version of you.

Forever thankful to God for you Earl Justin.