Whatever it is that makes you feel alive. Pursue it. We don't live for regrets anymore. And when you get to reach satisfaction, cherish it. Don't let it go, keep yourself refreshed just like the first time you knew about how beautiful your dream is. And most importantly, remember that that one thing that makes you feel alive is because God has been breathing life in it to you. He is the source of the life that we have been wanting ever since - alive and fruitful. This, I know and can tell for sure, because of the great pursuit that I have for The Great One. The Only One that I know who could bring me into becoming more that what I wanted for my life. He knows the real desire of my heart. And that to be with Him, in His presence forever. There's nothing more that I want in life now than His will be done. He knows everything. He is in control. He is good. And He is my Father. All because of Jesus for this revelation and joy. All because of Jesus that I am accessible to every promises that He has spoken in the Testaments. And it is because of the Holy Spirit that I am empowered to stand in every mind and strength battle, He sustains. Life. And all that it is, that it offers. We can only experience the abudance of it in the fullness of His salvation. To fight for this truth under any circumstance. I, for myself learned to quiet my soul by His Word, where there is His Presence, my satisfaction. My portion who holds my lot secure.

Fighting for what we love sometimes may bring us in tears, in knees. But we've got to try, we've got to persist, we've got to give it all. The call of urgency: sink or swim, now or never. Cause if it's worth it, no amount of words against it shall measure up what you have decided to engage 'til the end. Time? Strength? Provision? Consent? These will not be an issues! We shall not be limited by these things - suppressing us in a small box! For God's grace is abounding; His love relentless! His unchanging character, faithful 'til the end, holds us up amidst all chaos, even within us. This is a win-win situation. We are marching, not towards victory but, from victory. Jesus already won it all! His death paid all the tolls we have go through in this world as we follow Him! His promise, "I will never leave you nor forsake you" will never ever ever ever cease! Will never end! Will never die out! Because this is the truth. That not that we love Him, but because He loved us first. And we know this because even in our darkest, He was there. Fear not. Despise not the tears welling up from our eyes as we fight for love. Because these tears shall empty what's overwhelming in our hearts - fear, rejection, discouragement, pain, persecution. And as we are become emptied from those that is not from God, know that He will restore what the enemy has stolen from you. Remember that the battle is already finished. Won. You don't need to struggle that much. You just have to know, to assure and secure your mind and soul and heart, that this fight is not mine, but of my God. Yes, Amen!

The Lion King

Rafiki: Look down there.
[Slowly Simba walks to the edge of the watering hole and peers inside. His reflection stares back at him]
Adult Simba: That's not my father. That's just my reflection.
Rafiki: No. Look harder.
[Rafiki touches the water which causes waves that change Simba's reflection into Mufasa]
Rafiki: You see? He lives in you.
Mufasa's Ghost: [From above] Simba.
Adult Simba: Father?
Mufasa's Ghost: [He appears in the sky as a group of stars] Simba, you have forgotten me.
Adult Simba: No. How could I?
Mufasa's Ghost: You have forgotten who you are and so have forgotten me. Look inside yourself Simba. You are more than what you have become. You must take your place in the Circle of life.
Adult Simba: How can I go back? I'm not who I used to be.
Mufasa's Ghost: [Now fully formed in the sky] Remember who you are. You are my son and the one true king. Remember who you are.
Adult Simba: [Mufasa's ghost begins to disappear] No! Please! Don't leave me!
Mufasa's Ghost: Remember.
Adult Simba: Father!
Mufasa's Ghost: Remember.
Adult Simba: Don't leave me.
Mufasa's Ghost: Remember. 

And so, the movie goes on. Bonjour my friend! It's been so long again. Haha. Well I got kind of busy not because of work but because of stress going on in me. Psychological - so basically, spiritual and emotional dilemma. Anyways, I need to move on - I MUST. I can't imagine myself slumping for more days. I really can't. It would definitely be annoying and... annoying. HAHA. I've been encouraging myself for couple of weeks now since the day I resigned from my previous job. Well it's not like it really matters (like yeah, there's just a lot of it and I'm making it harder and complicated) but I wanted to think my actions over. I'm not afraid to have land no job because I know it's not His promise. I don't know, but I'm just confident with this fact. I'm not actually awesome of some kind of great to be attracting jobs but I believe that He wants something beautiful for my life. Going back to the topic. Yes, I had been battling emotional stress because I know no one would really understand what I went through in my previous job. I mean, it's not like it's one kind of a hell, but I think I'm not really that strong enough. A lot of party (well you know what I mean) were organized in my brain it wasn't just every weekend! I would like to entertain it once in a while but it was like my day won't end unless those thoughts won't torture me. It wasn't like I'm really harassed, but for my first job experience? "It seems like a joke," quoted from my aunt.

Actually, I'm queuing right now because I want answers of why those things must happen. I am waiting for His answers that might comfort me but all I could think is, it was MY DECISION. Whether He wants me to stay and press on, it was MY DECISION to leave. I couldn't stand it anymore. Because I have forgotten. And ran away. There's no other reason am I right? But one thing: Romans 8:28. No matter what my decisions be, I don't know if it's the right thing to do or not yet but, I would not like to regret it. Yes. It's a start of making my own decisions whether be it in good times or bad ones. Of course, I didn't do it impulsively. I had my own process to assess. Really, this blogging helps a lot. It makes me realize this right away (sometimes, sometimes not).

LIVE THE MOMENT.
DO WHAT YOU MUST DO - NO REGRETS.
When you live this kind of principle, you get to stand yourself on the mound and pitch. Whether you get a strike or not, it depends when it already reach the batter's plate. Right or wrong decisions has their time.

You know I want to rant my lungs out but it would not be healthy. I don't want to remember things like that again and again. I want to stop it. Because I am moving on. 
Because I must take my place in the circle of life. 
Because I am more than what I have become. 
Because I am His daughter and a true queen.

I am not a victim so I should not act like it or even think like it. 
I am noble. 
I am great. 
I am lovely. 
I am saved.

His Holy One made me. 
Thy eminence is making me.