There is no reason to worry; no, do not be anxious. We don't live defeated lives anymore - stop the drama. We are victors, conquerors, and champions! We are blessed, we are empowered, we are safe! We are forgiven, we are clean, we are new! His promises assure and secure, take heart. He shepherds and move in the unseen, have faith. Declare good things in this life because He withholds no good thing to His children. Declare good things in this life because whatever you believe you received, it will be yours. Declare good things in this life so to taste and see the goodness of the Lord! Jesus WON these ALL on the cross. He died to set us free from brokenness, helplessness, curses, slavery, addiction and everything that drags us from the life He has for us. Then He was risen from the dead to give us the life restoring dominion and stewardship to all creations in the earth - receiving the adoption as the Father's children, breathing the Spirit in us as it continually reveals, unlocks the mystery of God's Kingdom in every season of our lives. And this is our destiny, God's plan for us - that we live a prosperous, hopeful and great life! :)

Sometimes, I think that the only way to do the things that I have to is to get away from home. I know they are worried and all, but most of the times my guilt turns to anger from breaking their trust from the past. I don't know. I don't really know. It just sucks inside out. If only. If only. But all of those are in the past and I am in the present. There are still things that I have to do. So while I am within their bounds, I understand that I have to follow some house rules. And that is sparta. *laughs Yet I hope that it won't reach to the point that I have to decided to be 'independent' when I have 'home' around. I respect my family and I honor them. It's a struggle to me to follow their statutes when I have set of what I believe. But I love my God. Yes, and I have to follow it when He said to honor thy father and mother. It breaks my ego when they start to be directive but for the best, I have to and there's no age for it. I trust that as I commit to God what He has called me to do, He will make a way for it.

"but you didn't"

For sometime now, a viral post had us a ticket for The Feels Land. According to sources, this poem turned into comic was made by a lady who had her husband sent back to Vietnam as a military, and wasn't able to come back. The poem was said to be discovered by their daughter after attending her mother's burial.

And without any further ado, I decided to have it in this blog and share it to all of you. This is really a wonderful story of 2 beautiful hearts . Where others see love from everything, they had it in "But You Didn't."

Please download for a clearer version. Sorry for the inconvenience. :)

This is one great #relationshipgoal, my friend. 

Kapag mahal ka, Babalikan ka.

So what if di ka binalikan, di ka na din mahal? Eh different din naman yung di ka na mahal kaya, di ka na binalikan.

Mejo masakit ha. Ako kasi yung isa sa mga di binalikan. Kasi, di na mahal.

Last September 7, I saw him. After a few years of being haunted of what has become of us. I saw his face. After a few years of waiting just for that day to come, time flew immediately. Everything was so fast that even a minute didn't count. Even if I wanted to stay longer, I could not any longer. I could not barely look at him because for sure I'd be staring for long. I was shaking. I said 'hi', he smiled in response.

He was smiling. I was happy to see him. He was smiling. That was the last thing I wanted to see from him. He was smiling. I didn't regret my decision to see him. He was smiling. How could he?

I don't know if I was hopeful for anything when I had the chance to see him. But all I know was, I have to see him. Because I need to. Because I want to leave everything that excites me about him behind.

The pain resurfaced as I started rolling on my bed. I wasn't able to sleep properly. If it was possible, I might have a stared in nowhere 'til dawn. I wasn't particularly thinking of him but I wished to be with him a bit more. I wish I had the chance to talk to him. I wish I had the chance to hang out with him. To simply by his side until I lose appetite for it.

Was I hung up that much?
Do I love him still?
What am I really expecting?

I wonder why did I get hurt after seeing him. I wanted him happy. Sana with me. But it's impossible. The way he smiled at me, it was alive. Even without me, everything about him was beaming. He's like the coolest guy on earth!

I want to move on. Paano ba mag-move on? Hahaha. I'm not bitter, promise. It was hurting but I don't regret my decision to see him. I want to seriously get accustomed with everything about him and later on realize he's one ordinary thing for me nalang.

For some time, my prayer was this: (Ps. 139:23-24)

²³ Search me, O God, and know my heart!
    Try me and know my thoughts!^[a]
24 And see if there be any grievous way in me,
    and lead me in the way everlasting!^[b]

 "I wanted to make things right with God." This stand, I heard from one pastor over one podcast, really struck me. From then on, I could remember I was praying Ps. 139:23-24 within me. Well I wasn't really aware about it since it was casual for me to think about this person for a time or two. And maybe, just maybe, because God now is telling me that I have a new beginning through Him. He wants to deal with this issue in my heart.

Then it happened. Then I kept thinking about him in leisure time which wasn't really helpful or productive. And because of that, I took God's word for help (2 Corinthians 5:10):

⁵ We destroy arguments and every lofty opinion raised against the knowledge of God, and take every thought captive to obey Christ,

You might mistaken me for running away from this feeling. But this feeling is deceiving. We ended because it was wrong. I admit I am weak to handle him, but I would like to stand to my God's blessings and promises of New Beginning.

¹⁷ Therefore, if anyone is in Christ, he is a new creation.^[a] The old has passed away; behold, the new has come. 2 Corinthians 5:17

 This verse has been my chant ever since the day. I am eager to find that new beginning. Now that I know that there's nothing I could expect from him anymore, except from friendship. I wished anew. I want to be refreshed from everything that has happened in my life that is continually running through my subconsciousness.

I WANT TO MAKE THINGS RIGHT WITH GOD. AGAIN.

He is just so gracious to give me this chance. And together with this, He allowed this blessing I would like to fight for: a chance to work in BIR. I don't know if my chance is slim or what but I'm taking the chance. I'm gonna fight for it knowing God is with me.

I'm gonna fight because He has given me a new beginning. Because I have my race to finish. Because I have dreams I wish to come true. Because I have to live my purpose.

Isaiah 43:18-19

¹⁸ “Remember not the former things,
    nor consider the things of old.
¹⁹ Behold, I am doing a new thing;
    now it springs forth, do you not perceive it?
I will make a way in the wilderness
    and rivers in the desert.

Yung tipong, Lord DMD!

Grace? Love? Peace? Siksik, liglig at umaapaw! Di ko maiwasang maisip ngayong gabi na dahil sa pagmamahal mo sa amin, Ikaw na nga gumawa ng paraan para di kami mapalayo sayo, naabuso ka pa. Sa grace mo, sa ginawa ni Jesus, naging madali ang lahat sa para sa amin upang magdasal at lumapit sa Iyo ng buong buo. 

"If grace was an ocean, we're all sinking." Sin is serious to you, because You are holy. But You were desperate for us, because You love us. So desperate that left me thinking the psalm "who am I that You are so mindful of me?" always. Always. And might take me forever, an eternity or maybe never if I try to understand it. 

And Your glory that You desire for us? For the God of the universe, He who created everything by His word, and He who said "I AM" to time and space. To impart it to us like God seriously, quotang-quota na kami sa Iyo! 

Yung feeling na kayang-kaya ko gawin lahat, kasi You gave the confidence in victory that Jesus won on the cross; kasi You are for us and not against us. Pero I want Your way for me. That there's nothing in this world that I want but Your will be done upon me. And where ever we are, I know God has a plan and He is pleased with us. He is the God of peace that transcends all understanding. Through Jesus, nothing is broken, nothing is missing. Shalom!  

From week one upto the third, may last week pa of course. You have made me seriously look at Jesus. What He did on the cross. What kind of a Father is God. Like grabe, even Jesus in the heaven sitting at the right hand of the Father is interceding for us. Also, sending the Holy Spirit just to make sure that we are well taken care of.

Lord, DMD talaga. 

Jesus, the Lamb of God - The Perfect Redeemer. 
Jesus, the High Priest - The Perfect Mediator. 
Jesus, the Suffering Servant - The Perfect Substitute. 

My heart is so grateful, O God. So much awe, so much indescribable feelings and unspoken words as to Your greatness. I am humbled by Your grace. Thank You for taking it all. Thank You for being the Once and for all sacrifice that has to be, in order to restore our relationship with the Father, for enabling forgiveness to take effect to us, for never giving up to the end. Thank You Jesus! Thank You.

Cut it out! You have always been blessed!

I should really should cut it out - this poverty mindset. If only it's possible to live alone or gouge my eyes out just stop being intimidated from others, of course it is, but like I can! I love myself too much for that. Haha. Anyway, real talk. If only I could stop being so envious about all the good things others have, I might have been the cool kid you know in the block. 

You see, the word last Sunday really challenged me ever since I stepped out of the hall. I am blessed long time ago; I am favored, that I know. "You seem unconvinced," Pastor said after revealing this title. I must admit, that these words I know for a fact, but for someone like me who tingles when things don't seem pleasant, it's an ooookay. No blood rushing for excitement nor adrenalin to look forward to it.

I am contemplating, really, of how to deal with this kind of disease. It's just ironic to realize that, I feel inferior to those people I cherish the most. I mean, I really love them! I am proud of them and ever have I always wanted to be walking beside them. Then I see great things happen to them, I get to congratulate them and suddenly everything feels churning.

Why things like that happen to me?

Just this morning, I received a quote from a daily inspiration message you get from facebook. It said something like "You don't have be in a roller coaster ride in this life, you need to be constant." Then I thought, Life is at constant, unless the One give shall take. Getting into the roller coaster ride of life is upon how you see situations that either goes at hand or out of the way. So we need to be positive. Yep! Positive.  As if.

It's really hard for me you know but I want to break out from this that tangles me for so years already. I have seen the consequences of this action, but WHY CAN'T I JUST GET RID OF IT.

Sigh.

I don't wanna be called a green-eyed monster.

                    ---------------------------------------oOo---------------------------------------

We are rich in Christ Jesus, so there is nothing to be intimidated, get pitied, or agitated about the tomorrow. Isn't the birds more important than you? Didn't He say, He has plans for us to prosper,  and not to harm us, to give us hope and a future?  

And my God will meet all your needs according to the riches of his glory in Christ Jesus. (Philippians 4:19) NIV

We have always been blessed.
 Ephesians 1:3 says,

Praise be to the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, who has blessed us in the heavenly realms with every spiritual blessing in Christ.

Has blessed is in the perfect tense, which means even from the ancient ages up to this millennia, God had never had a time to bless up. Grace! Okay, you might be thinking that this might be out of context since what is stated are spiritual blessings, not blessings, which could actually fit in the scenario that we are actually abundant in this world needless to say. But, have you forgotten who we are? We are the people of God, spiritual men of God. Spiritual blessings, by all means, are those that we, His children, need for life.

We have to renew, refresh and restart our poverty mindset. We are rich in Christ! Our portion in this matter is that we have to believe in His word! Have you ever seen a believer abandoned? Even those who are persecuted, still praise God until death because He never left them! He filled them with His presence, so much more compared to what they are experiencing. They speak about God. They believe His word. And so shall we.

If anything, self-fulfilling prophecies shall all be positive. And to see all the good things our Father has done:

• Use what you have
• Be grateful for what you have
• Don't be jealous for what others have

The crown of thorns Jesus wore on the cross signifies the breaking of all human weak and ill mentalities. He wore it because He knows how evil mind can be. Praise God. So whatever it is that you might be waiting for, you are asking for, claim it! The victory is won in His name! It is a blessing to know that we are given this confidence in Christ Jesus.


Spiritual Blessings

Let us get into further Ephesians 1:3's spiritual blessings. So these are some and top of God's spiritual blessings to us:

• Chosen for Salvation (John 15:16, Ephesians 1:4)
• Adopted as His child (John 1:12, Psalms 37:25)
• We are forgiven (Psalms 103:12, Micah 7:19, John 10:10)

Know that GOD IS the source of all blessings
 
If our biological fathers do anything just to give us everything, doesn't this more apply to our Heavenly Father? The King of Kings? The Lord of Lords? In His hands, blessings are blessings! It never hides into other clothing or add up anything that could ruin the meaning of it. Proverbs 10:22 "The blessing of the Lord makes rich, and he adds no sorrow with it." When God blessed you a work, it is blessing! When it turned out to be out of your comfort zone, your work is still God's blessing! In due time if you are proven worth it, He shall promote! Obey and prioritize, turn tables and know that blessings are along the way.

So whatever it is that has or to come our way, let us remember that in each and every step of the way God is before us. He is with us. 

All things work together for good!  That is the truth. And we ought to own it.

The keyword is: BELIEVE

This morning, while traveling going to work, the minister said over the radio,

Kapag may pananampalataya ka, mangarap ka!

With so much conviction and encouragement in his voice, he shared his experience of hoping to go to US with whatever his plans there. Believing that country won't just be plain map before his eyes. It happened.

"Never give up. The keyword is believe." 2 Corinthians 1:20 says," For all the promises of God in Him are Yes, and in Him Amen, to the glory of God through us."NIV

• Be specific. In your prayer be specific of what you desire. This way, God sees how serious, genuine or desperate are we for us, over the time we are asking for it.
• Know in your heart, mind and soul that He is faithful. Doubt everything in this world but God's word. The world may pass but His word shall remain - that's how grounded His word for us!
• After all, God's business is answering our prayers . How amazing is that? Do you have anymore to say? Haha.

So... you're someone who's been waiting for like forever? And it made you frustrated and disappointed, draining all hopes the universe had given you? And what do you do? You blame others, you blame yourself. You think you're cursed and will never get a promotion, be struck being a no one. Then you compare yourself to others, you think you're inferior and you think you don't deserve any of these. Then you blame others, you blame yourself... repeat chorus.

A tiring odd ugly dull life.

But you can never solve your problem by blaming others, only by praying... Remember that your enemy is not your brother or sister (including circumstances, whatever) , it is the devil. Do not fight wrong battles, love.

Our God is limitless!
Our Gos is miraculous!
The keyword is believe. You have to.

Dreaming about what you love, for me, is the most beautiful thing in this world. No, wait.  In the entire universe! It's like you are to become a supernova that will significantly contribute in the interstellar mediums and help in the formation of new stars! Others will not understand how our language, hope, works for us, but Jesus got our backs! He left the Holy Spirit, the testimonies of hundreds of believers in the bible as our guide and strength. The world may lie but The Word is the truth.

Now, imagine living our dreams. How much of a beauty shall it be?

Tiwala lang. 

Darating din tayo jan. 

Praise the Lord for the future He has stored for us! And mind, that's not some future you think for yourself. It's the kind of future that no one can ever stop and steal away from the One who planned it all.

And now what are you waiting for? Get up, be baptized and wash your sins away, calling on his name.

Acts 22:16

Encounter na yaaan!

Sweet dreaming!

Here's something to ponder from one of my favorite anime, like ever!

Cheese in the Trap

Introducing: Cheese in the Trap! I'm not a k-fanatic okaaay? But this Manhwa is just so... so... kilig! My goodness! A good read for 20's who like comics, manga, manhwa, etc. You can read this at webtoon.com and see how interesting the story is! Gee. I don't know if this story will go twisted and kicking wicked but got me all hooked up. Haha. There are a lot of manhwas out there who are good you know, specially if you are looking for wholesome romantic stories and freaking thrillers! YES. As bad as J-mangas have! 

Anyway, Yoo Jung Sunbae, if you weren't just that indifferent, I would have dropped this story as a typical romcom. Yoo Jung's dark, and that's something. Hahaha.  I wonder if the story will go smooth or he'll get himself into his dark mode - ruining everything. *wicked laugh

Sentiments 101

Dear me,

Can you please make your day happy? Whenever you come and make an entry it's always drama. Do you realize it? Sigh. Why don't you make entries whenever you're happy too? Get a life. A happy life. Laugh. Love. Live.

Concerned citizen of your mystical, lunatic world,
Rau

Hahaha. As much as I'd like to, there's nothing wonderful to post. Yet. I don't know if it already passed by, happening without dropping by to say hi, or I just won't recognize it because my eyes are shrouded with much concerns in this world, which I'd like to say that doesn't concern me at all.

If only I could say that.

WHY DO I ALWAYS FEEL LIKE THIS?

The it's already a quarter of the year and I'm rolling my life in a very "beautiful" way. Please notice sarcasm.

So, what to do?
Listen to what He says.
Like, what is He saying?
You're being impatient.

Times like this, I wanna go back into being a child and just cuddle up to mom. That is, if I'd known about this, with this, will she care?

Yesterday, I was cleaning my room. I decided then to throw, even burn, stuffs that makes me stuck for like forever. I found accounting reviewers, old diary pieces, and other antics sorts of antics. I was reading those, just out of a spur. 

And guess what?

I was full of anime.

HAHAHHA. Is there anything new? I was expecting something something. Things like, how actually did I spent my days. Hahaha. That wasn't a catch at all. Boring life. What a boring kid! Hahaha. All I wrote was about anime and all, blah blah. Nothing but anime! Seriously. 

Well I have other entries just how a dear diary should be, but the most of it... the most of it... Anyway, as one of my entry said, I had this trait that whenever I feel forgetting something, or I feel like I wanted to be strong or far away, I watch anime. Just as I noticed it years ago, I brought it as, really, a bad habit to break.

And that's not good. No good at all. I don't want to fill my entire diary (literal and superficial) to be full of stories that actually doesn't exist! It makes life harder, you expect something from the impossible. Well, you know, that difference between impossible that has a remedy of hope, which is in the context of reality. And the impossible, that is, absolutely no way in this space and time is going to happen.

So mmmm. I need to do something about it.
A Radical Change.

Can I?

I want...

It...

I want to change. I want to be the one that is suppose to be me. And iisn't that 180 degrees turn of life navigation against your self controlled predictable life? Always and always facing the same course whenever encountering accounts that recalls negative ions in the universe.

Am I still speaking sense? Haha. I wish I could blog in ways that could stir excitement, curiosity, wander, interest and inspiration.

I will be one.

I will become one.

Years are still ahead of me.

It's never too late, I believe that, yet no one knows.

I'd still believe tho.

I want to move on form the past. I want to leave it all behind me. I want anyone to understand that I want to change for the better. Not as a settlement for anything but to get equipped for every change - opportunities & setbacks along the way.

I'd still believe, I guess. It's the only way. To believe in the goodness of the Lord. It's like we're given blinders to keep us straight ahead. Of courses, horses won't neigh "I'm lost!" right? I bet they would just continue as long as there is a road to walk on to.

But how about that horse encounters twin roads which leads to... no one knows? How shall that be? Well I guess that horse should know that it has a driver. And because animals have a distinct character of being loyal to the one who takes care of them. They know trust. And that's it. Life continues. It's not that we eliminate what is inevitable in this horse's journey, but the thing is, nothing else matters. No, nothing yet. Food to eat, clothes to wear, money to spend. Don't you that horse's have more than enough? He who leads the horse well, He who feeds Him in the green pastures, He who offers the sky as an invincible roof, He who offers the rivers that overflows, He who offers the forest land with treasures untold.

Whatever it will be. Go and make the change you can only make. Because the knowledge that you are looking for is how to live your life. Because the wisdom you want to gain will come from your journey. Because the testimonies you shall pass from generation to generation shall nothing but yours.


 

Believe by Faith

God is faithful. Even if we're not.

We are bound to what's destined for us.

Only God knows what is it - what are those, but for sure, there's a lot of things God wants to accomplish in our lives. It's not only you who wants to go through a lot of beautiful experiences in this life. God wants it more than we desire for our lives.

One question that has brought me into realization to pursue is this:

IF YOU WON'T FAIL, WHAT WILL YOU DO?

Well for this conversation, this question applies to the encouragement "TRUST GOD".

In my current situation, I have just realized that I am surrounded by people who merely has a relationship with God. All my life, ever since I was a born again, I have been with people who only believes in Him, everyone was so passionate in pursuing God. Later did I know that I wasn't able to prepare for the next stage of life that will challenge all that I have stored up as a believer.

Being aware of what's right in the eyes of God, learning what others think about people who doesn't practice what they preach, and figuring out things if you're ready in the timeline of life or not. Things like these pressures me, quite often I become anxious because what people say strangles me. But I thank God the more I feel helpless because His word stands true that, "in my weakness, You are my strength."

Honestly, it's because of His word that I still have the guts to soar higher, never give up and do my best. Knowing you won't fail because Jesus has won the victory, because You trust Him no matter what, because He is good, you will definitely seek for more!

The statement left me a hang over. And maybe it will last. Forever.
I thank God to have made me realize this. I know He's carved it in my soul.
How do I know? Because I won't let it go.

He had been encouraging me for like years to grow more in faith, that is more than believing. It's like, faith is the another word for believing, in the spiritual realms. So yeah. It took me years to fully understand. Indeed, when you hear His word as an answer to your plea, it is indeed irrevocable. Certainly the calling to have faith.

Since yesterday, or should I say even before, He's been telling me to "ask more" and "hold on". I admit that I was putting God in a box. I was living a carnal life. Trying to work out my spiritual life through so much human efforts - which is definitely tiresome wrong. I am guilty for this kind of living. I was always afraid to ask more because I might get disappointed because what if it's not for me or because there's just too much to ask and God might not handle it. In short, my mentality was to never disturb God.

See what kind of mentality I have? It's stiff.

But God's grace! He's really working in my life. He allows things to shake us to see that we need Someone who can't be shaken. He allows things to hurt us to make us feel that we're broken and there's a vacuum that He alone can fill. He allows things to shame us so that we may learn to speak the truth. He allows people to know you because He wants to show Himself through You. 

God has better plans for us. There's just a lot! Faith is all we need. Believing God's word helps us fill the holes created by the world to us.

We might be corrupted in mind, body and spirit.

But through Jesus, we are new. "The old is gone, the new has come."

His death made a way for us to be forgiven and be blessed.

His death redeemed us.
His scars healed us.
His blood cleansed us.
His love saved us.

 

Happy 2015!

Declaring greater things for this year! 

Greater challenges may come all the way but God holds us in His right. He is who He said He is. He is faithful. He is merciful. He is gracious. He is loving. He is kind. He withholds nothing for those who love Him. God has been great through out our lives and He will continue to live it up as long as we live - forever and ever.

God is on our side. He protects us. He doesn't waste anything. 

GOD IS WITH US.

Praise God! I'm better than before. I've got another 365 chances and opportunities that is at reach. Thank You Lord!

 
Again, happy 2015! :)