hello there, it's been a while. ahaha. i just turned 19 few days ago and guess what? i just can't believe this, i'm like the oldest in my bunch of friends yet i still act like an immature one. ugh! yeah right, still selfish as ever. well i know that selfishness is one real way to destruction of oneself, and as i learn more about it, i can't help feeling down about it. looking the sunshine side? well yes, He wants me to exercise the application of being selfless and temperance for my anger yet it drives insanity to dwell in me. cancel! a friend once said: everything might not be easy but it's not impossible. so i was like, for real?! i highly admit that this person is one big personality in terms of those i really admire when you see me in person and ask me about it. i too do admit that she is way to good, way to obedient, sweet and whatever you may call her and that's why i admire her the most. she is spiritually maturing and i am still far way behind and because of this, she knows how to handle whatever the world offers to her that might pull her down. and what's amazing with her? she doesn't back up, she immediately thinks about God and boom! everything seems fine.
God's favorite eh? HAHA. i wonder if i belong to those on His list, i wonder if He have those list. Hnnng. He has his purpose why I am still on this stage. maybe he's got something to tell me but i cannot hear. maybe He wants me to understand something yet i do not know what. Patience is what i need according to James 1:1-5. PATIENCE. yes, patience. i should not dictate God of what's the best for me because after all He's the only all-knowing. i should not ask for something i do not know for FYI, i do not own anything in this world. this 2 facts i need to understand. these 2 facts i need to surrender and ask the Holy Spirit to guide me on the right way. I want to grow, yes but on His time - believe that it's always the best. I want to have something i can call my own - so why not uncover your ears and eyes from God turn your back to Him and see that He is waiting patiently for your come back. ♥
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