The end of me, is the beginning of us.

 

Selah.

Pause.

Ponder. 

Praise. 

"Believe in my son"

Today, I woke up unusally early. So early that I get to ask and realize things that I want... I think this is what it's like to be getting old...

I woke up realizing for the 2nd time how hard long distance relationship are. Writing this, I cried a prayer to God... I realized how lonely it is, how hard it's gonna be and will it work for me? I asked myself then if this is something that I want for the future... Will it work out? I thought and prayed for those relationships who are likely of this.

Earl, I wanna tell you that I don't want ldr, but I can't. It's sad. Very sad. I can't help but think about Nanay, and all she went through. Even your Mom. I can't imagine going through ups and downs without you... and the children, I don't want them to grow without you. You see, I understand the current situation, and it really breaks my heart to realize that this is a season we don't know until when, but a season that has God's reason. 

I've had a a perfect redemptive story in mind for my future... for my next generation... and since the day I met you, everything changed. It was everything I never imagined for myself. And life gave me a deeper sense of living, all the more waiting and wanting God to reveal His fingerprints over our story.

There were days when I cried myself to give up on the thought of us. Because it was something hard to imagine, hard to grasp, something beyond of control. But you know, everytime this happens God gives a Word to make me stay. In the past, I tried to battle it. But then, I just realized how important you are to God and to me. 

This time, He said in my heart, "Believe in my son." Obviously, you are not the context because I was reading "The Attributes of God" but I know He was speaking of you. I don't want to sound superficially, mystically, or over spiritually, because I maybe am wrong. But I believe that when we talk to God, He answers. When we seek Him, He meets us in our questions. Not by answering according to our logic, but according to His character. 

So if there's a reason for me to pursue this, it's because I know God will work things out for us. I don't know how but I know He is good, and all that we're going through is sifted through crucibles so that what is ours, is ours and surely will last.

God, I surrender to Your will. If this is the cup that You have for me, let me take it. This story is not new to you. And thinking about it, I survived my important long distance relationships thriving... Tatay, friends and for the best example, The Lord's. That even though You're not physically here with us, but You are in us. You are in every promise You make. You are in everything that consumes us inside out. You are in all of Your creation and You speak everything into creation. So as I think and remember all of these, I will be reminded that it is for Your glory that things happen. It may or may not work, but all creation will speak Your glory.

Thank You for grace and mercy that overflows. Thank You for love and goodness that sustain and hold us closer. And I as go through deep waters, I will not fear for You are with me. The past will no longer hold me back nor the future withhold what's for me, because You are God. You make a way where there is no way, and You make things new. So even in this waiting God, You remain good, powerful and faithful. And with all that I am, may I forever trust, love and serve You.

“To love you as I should, I must worship God as Creator. When I have learnt to love God better than my earthly dearest, I shall love my earthly dearest better than I do now. In so far as I learn to love my earthly dearest at the expense of God and instead of God, I shall be moving towards the state in which I shall not love my earthly dearest t all. When first things are put first, second things are not suppressed but increased.” - CS Lewis

Day Three

Good Morning, Lord! 😊✨🌼

Thank You for Your Spirit, leading me to You. 

Thank You for Your Word that never fails to give hope.

Lord, You reign in justice and righteousness. 

You are our hiding place from the wind, 

our shelter from the strom,

our streams of water in a dry place, 

and our shade of a great rock in a weary land. 

I pray for eyes to be opened, 

for ears to give attention,

for hasty hearts to understand and know, 

and for the stammering tongue to speak distinctly.

Help us become nobles who plans nobly and stands on noble things. 

Lord, as your daughter, 

rise me up and let me hear Your voice.

Prepare me for the things you have called me for. 

May Your Spirit make me a fruitful field. 

May Your righteousness produce peace, quietness and trust forever in Your name.

God, I pray that Your people will abide in Your peaceful habitation, 

secure dwellings, and in quiet resting places.

I pray that You will be gracious to us as we wait for You. 

Be our arm every morning, and our salvation in the time of trouble.

God, be exalted!

You fill us with Your justice and righteousness. 

You are the stability of our times, the abundance of our salvation, wisdom, and knowledge.

The fear of the Lord is indeed our treasure. 

God, keep our eyes behold You in Your beauty, 

make our eyes see a land that You cover, that stretches afar.

Help us see our becoming - an untroubled habitation, an immovabke tent, whose stakes will never be plucked up, nor any of its cords will be broken. 

Lord, Your majesty will be for us a place of broad rivers and streams. 

As we abide in You, as we look to You, there we shall find rest and be refreshed. 

Thank you, Jesus for the freedom and joy. Overtaking, overflowing and it will never be taken away from us. Because You remain to be King, unchallenged in Your throne. 

I bless and and honor Your name, Jesus. 

Amen and amen. 

(A prayer from Isaiah 32 & 33)