To be like a child.

When someone tells you to start like a child... how would you react?

A blank mind. A different perspective. That's what I'm trying to have now. To change for the better. To change like nothing has existed.

Of course, it's hard since I've got habits for almost 2 decades that's not easy to mend but... I don't know... I just... trust Him. I don't know what's happening but it feels like He wants me to undergo this kind of construction so... I'll let it be. I mean, there's no harm in trying doesn't it?

While eating dinner, I was thinking about: If only people stop after the count of 3... You know, just like babies when you tell them not to touch that, let go of that, don't eat that, don't do that... We count 1... 2... 3... Then look at us adults, stop what ever they are doing then come back and talk to us like we understand what are they talking about. Hmmm. It's really nice to be innocent.

I... need... confidence (maybe).

I like playing dress up, got a problem with that?

A while ago, I was hooked up by the gown I found out together with my cousin. She'll be using it this Saturday - Junior & Senior Promenade, the event where all juniors and seniors are looking forward in High School.

The black and shinning-shimmering gold dusts in the net skirt.


I knew I'd like to see the stars that pretty under a dark sky.


Sorry to have that ad lib, anyways... I was thinking of using the idea on that skirt to be placed in my dress, also for an upcoming event this Sunday - Junior Philippine Institute of Accountants (JPIA) Night. Well, I already had this dress which is simple yet it can be improvised through additional coats or whatsoever accessories. But what really caught my attention was that black net with gold dust in the gown's skirt. I really fell for it like, Lord, I wanna have this.

I have this idea of where to place it yet I don't have resourceful hands or experience in dress making that is why I was determined to have my mom sew it for me. Mehehe. Well, I told her my idea. I was planning to have it drawn and post it here so I could show you what I wanted to wear on the Sunday Night but I don't have much time for that tonight, so maybe let's have it some other day. She agreed to my favor under the condition of finances and... I'd be the one looking for the cloth. And, yeah... For the sake of my dreams, I'll be eager to find something like that, right Lord? :3

Since my dress was simple additional design would make it look more elegant like: My dress is tank topped style so my first plan was only to place a long loose sleeve on the left side (I guess) of the dress. I see it classy, specially that glitters on that black net-cloth really catches attention. While my second bet was to have a detachable skirt on it, having the same materials used but in a different design. A black satin for the hip-belt, black and gold net-cloth and smooth black satin for the skirt. Then for the design, I was thinking of making it short in front then long at the back - you know that design well, it's popular nowadays. Sorry I don't know how to describe it but it's beautiful.

But I'm thinking that maybe I'm overdoing things but... I love to do this. Mix and match. Colors. Gowns. Skirts. Dresses. Medieval. Victorian. Renaissance. I love all these ages. And of course, I don't plan to exterminate the fact that I can't have everything. Yes, I just can't have. What I have for now will satisfy me but I won't limit myself from there. There's going to be a lot of chances once I won't be able to have it, so I won't give up. Every chance I'll have, I'd go and get it.

I praise You God for this day. Even if it was a whole rainy day, it was a blast. Thank You for giving my cousin a wonderful dress for her Prom Night. I believe, it's going to be a lovely night for her. Thank You for Your protection for her and for giving her confidence of Your beauty on the 23rd. Thank You Lord. Thank You so, so much!

Here's a secret for you, if you ask me why I'm inspired of dressing up as much as the best? Here's the answer... I won't limiting myself in dressing up if it's something that I and God cherishes. I mean, I don't know but I'm really, really happy. I know He doesn't want me to settle for less. Long time ago, I decided to become pretty for this night and I know that without His provision, without this desire, passion and hard work, I won't be able to. He's the one providing and I'm just patching things up. I don't want to limit myself anymore. I want to show the world that everything came from Him; that someday, if I become someone who can inspire others, it's all because of Him that I can help others as bountiful as He have been to me. I'm not saying I'm rich at my state, for I'm not. It so happened that I like beautiful things as He does and then from a give and take relationship, we are making the best out of it. That's how it is. He really is lovely. He is faithful. I really love You Lord! I might be overwhelm by His goodness, but let it be. It delights my soul to give Him all the honor and glory for the things that had happened, is happening and will happened. All glory and praise to our God! Thank You Lord Jesus.

Arrivederci.

I was able to eat an double sized BIG MAC when I've only wished for one.

I was able to find a gold dress I have imagined when I only wished for one.

All was because of Him. This is more than a reward, I thought. To think that I messed up last night, I couldn't imagine to even still ask for Him. He's so merciful. And kind. And gracious. I did nothing to justify my acts, because there won't be an atonement for what had happened. Yet still, he came to gave me all of this. You might think it's petty but at my state, with the state of mind that I have, I drown myself in wonder: How glorious is Your name in all the earth!

It's all thanks to Him that I got these all. Yes, praise be to God.

I don't know how its going to work but, thank You for fixing me and my mess. I know someday, it's gonna make sense and I'm looking forward for that. Thank You for giving me a chance to have a brand new perspective and principle to live on my life. Thank You for those people whom You used to be a channel of Your blessing - thank You because it has to be my parents. Thank You. Thank you for making me calm and giving me confidence day by day. I pray O Lord for Your continuous guidance for me, my family and friends. Thank You for sending Your holy angels to protect us and Your Holy Spirit to reveal Your will for us. Thank You for meeting us at the end of every tunnel. Thank You for always making us the best. Thank You for Your gifts, help me use it effectively and efficiently in Your ministry. You know well how I can practice it well. Help me discipline myself and continue the journey with You without mediocrity, procrastination or excuses. Strengthen me, as well as my family and friends in every morning. Give us peace of mind as we go and take a rest in this rainy night. Thank You so much Father for being faithful when we are not. Thank You because You are existing. Thank You because You have never left us even at rebellious times. Thank You for calling us again and again. Helping us get up and encourage us to carry on. Let Your Spirit minister to me tonight that I may pray those people who needs prayer. Lord, let me be a channel of Your grace as You have been to me. Thank You for overpowering the guilt I have in my heart. Thank You for in my weakness, You are my refuge, fortress and strength. Thank You. My ever deep gratitude in Your faithfulness O Lord. Thank You. Amen.

Tonight.

Things to ponder:

Guard your heart.

Prov. 4:23

Season of Grace.

Eph. 1:7

Don't lose hope. When are down to nothing, God is up to something.

Galatians 6:9

Lord, show me how to love like you have loved me.

God replaces your fear with faith, your pain with purpose and your obstacles with opportunities.

God is everywhere, so pray anywhere.

God sometimes pushes us to our limits because He has greater faith in us than we have in ourselves.

 

Serenade Night is overrr!

Finding redemption by myself won't satisfy me. I can't have it myself. There's no way; there's just no way to redeem myself from what had happened. It was my mistake. It was my decision. I made everything a mess.

But I can't stay like this and pity myself just before this night ends when I have this part of me that strongly says: Move on, child.

He is my fortress. He is my refuge. He is my confidence. My soul. My love. He's the reason why I can't quit the fight. 

Veni. Vidi. Vici.

He tells me that this ain't just the end. People have lots of concerns yet we need to have one mind concentrated on one goal. That whenever there are times that I don't know what to do, I just need to stop, inhale-exhale, and keep that composed smile.

Trust Him.

Trust the time you have spend in prayer to Him. He knows how much is your need. Trust Him, that's all I need to do. Well that is ain't a simple matter but a Big thing to deal on.

Life is unfair and I need to accept that. Life is imbalance and I need a support. Life won't be appreciated and challenge is that is needed.

Maybe there are broken hearts but God will heal it. I know He will use what happened to mold us and unite us in everything.

This is just a beginning. It hurts to know but it needs to come and pass by to let us know that we should learn. That's the hard way. 

Maybe I had a small setback but I know God will use it for a major comeback. I don't know when will these crippled legs be able to walk again, when will these eyes stop from shedding tears, but He'll come and pass by.

Even a touch from the hem of his (Jesus) clothe will do.

That kind of faith.

I'm excited to know that I'll be reaching the line when I won't be doubting His power anymore. It hurts to know that I am easily swayed, to see how vulnerable I am. But I need to carry on.

Carry on, Rau ♥

God still loves you even when you did a mess. :)

Lord, everything was for You. I'm sorry if I did a mess over what you have actually planned, but I'm still thankful that you still had the show go on. Thank you for stirring the hearts of your people to come and celebrate with us, enjoy with us and listen to a couple of reminder from You. Thank you for entrusting this event to us. Thank you so much. Thank you for having your will be done. Lord, I might be as incapable as now, but sooner or later I will become someone who won't be a wishy-washy after all that We've been through. Thank You for the training. Thank You for the experience. Thank You for Your provision and favor. My ever thanksgiving to You my God. I praise and glorify Your name, thank You my Lord and Savior.

It was a chance to keep calm. And decide.

I'm tired, that's all.

I'm tired because I can't go all out because of the restrictions I have. If only I don't have those considerations. I feel inferior. Why? Because I feel like I'm not doing anything that really makes me go in-line with my desire. Then here comes my mom ranting about what she said the last time and my sister going home late.

I'm tired. Can I just sleep and forget that all of these happened? Well of course, it's a matter of choice. To keep holding onto it or leave it in His hands.

Anyways, like I have some other good choices right?

"When you have done your part, don't try to make things as if you can still do a thing. You can't. Anymore. It's when I'll meet you - at your extent. Don't worry. I'll take care of the rest. Thank you. ♥ "

I thank thee.

University week

University week.

For 5 days.

And there's still 2 days left.

Sigh. It's tiring to do nothing.

Anyways, Serenade Night is coming!!!

There's still lot of things unresolved.

Aaaah. Go. There's still much time left for the event :3

Who would have the heart to stop this boy, shining so brightly, from persuing what he loves with everything he's got?

-Chihayafuru

Chihayafuru Season 2

click here.

If you wanna read raw chapters of this anime, please visit: http://raw.senmanga.com/Chihayafuru

This girl is on fire.

The more we understand what God is doing in our lives and the more we live in the life He wanted us to carry on, the more we become aware of His Personal Will for our lives.

If you can't figure out your purpose, figure out your passion. Your passion will lead you right into your purpose.

That's for you, dreamer.

You know the secret of a dream-come-true?

They never stopped believing. Along the way, they are always carrying that very passionate desire of someday dream. And they worked hard for it. Always and always, it is in their hearts. There might be times that it failed, it malfunctioned, it got losts. But what's amazing about this is the secured destiny we have. That no matter what, if it's for us then it is; if it's not then it's not. A strong sense of desire. We might be experiencing a long way towards it but always remember that everything, all of that are for our good, for our purpose. So when it seems you are not doing what you are supposed to do, be still. Take heart. You are bound for what you are desiring all of your heart. Be patient because you might be using what is being cultivated in you now for the future you.

Be sober-minded and keep going. Turning points are exciting. Life is a blessing.

I can't be bitter. I can't...

Sorry but I'm not mature enough to just let it pass. Really, I'm sorry. 

And there's something I can't just accept.

You and I have both irregularities. I don't know if I annoy you but I do get annoyed with yours.

It's somehow disgusting to be stuck on the same ground with you. I was trying to make myself a step higher but I end up eating the dust.

It's terribly annoying. Seriously.

But I can't stay like this.

You and I both lack something.

Love.

I know because I've been with you. And I know that you know mine too.

This lack of love makes it difficult for me to move, though HE promised. 

That everytime I forgot what is love, He will constantly remind me what's love. He didn't tell me it would be easy, and so be it. A hard core type of understanding of what is His love. A far beyond description of love that will tear anyone's heart. An unfathomable indescribable love that will make you fall on your knees.

A fuuny night with Diwata. :3

I was browsing over fb when I found this comment from a friend of mine. Something from his comment made me excited then I pm him, asked him who was it that he was talking about. Then my expectations failed. 

Why on earth did I thought they are acquaintances? 

Stupid.

Anyways, after that, I messaged Diwata. I was fond by our conversation that I posted it in fb:

What's funny before I re-posted this was, I wasn't able to cover the 3rd line. So obviously, the name was revealed! I have posted it in fb before I knew it! It made me flustered like: SHOCKS! DELETE, DELETE! HOW AM I SUPPOSE TO DELETE THIS???

I rattled. I stood up and panicked. I laughed for a moment.

Delete.

I don't know if someone has actually read it but here's Diwata's pm after:

  
I believe the post was less than a minute. So there's a high probability that only Diwa and me have discovered the malfunction.

I was happy to make her laugh - or happy at least. :)

Hahaha. Anyways, there's still lots of rice servings I'll be eating to be with that guy. :3

The usual help is only but a relief; remember that we are here to help restore.