So... what do we do now, Rau?

"To burn brightly our lives must first experience the flame. In other words, we cease to bless others when we cease to bleed." - L.B. Cowman

Reminds me of "Daily, take up your cross; always, dying to oneself."

To Rau,

I know how hard your mind battle is, dear. I know how hard it is to fight to never lose your focus, heart and purpose. And I know how you always breakdown because of certain mistakes and never forgive yourself.

But I want you to understand that you are amazing. That you never have to be hard on yourself. I wish for you to be more confident in what you do. I wish for you to never doubt everything that you wanted to do. I wish that you would always go all out to all the things that you love. 

You never have to pretend that everything is alright when the truth is everything is breaking, falling apart. You never have to pretend to be strong. You never have to keep all goody shoes all the time. 

When Jesus saw you at the cross, he didn't see who you are of a moment. He saw it all - everything about you. He saw your struggles and pain. He saw what you can become. He saw your doubt and mishaps. He saw the completion of God's purposes in your life. He envisioned you living a life abundant - full of love, peace and joy. A woman clothed in strength and dignity. Favored. Blessed.

Some of us don't consider ourselves valuable, because we have still yet to realize the potential that is inside of us. Still, and for that goal to be extracted, to actually come out, it has to go through a crucible. It has to go to fire. That's why the word crucible does not only mean in the english language: the metal that is used for melting other metals. It also means this, according to John Maxwell, "a crucible in an opportunity, a test, or sometimes even an emergency that summons the very best from a person and reveals its finest qualities. Once a potential person experiences a crucible, they are transformed forever. - Pastor Carlo Panlilio

You have to engage in the great plans of the Lord. You have to accept that you are meant for greatness, therefore you have to stop being mediocre. You have to do things properly and part of it is discipline. You are born for such a time like this because you have to rise up for your calling. You are representing the Father. 

Even if you make mistakes, stupid mistakes. Remember that the game starts there. It is your response that matter. You may not be able to redeem yourself in the eyes of those who have already given the judgement, but remember that we serve only one audience, and it is God. Do not forsake changes, Rau. You have to change. If you don't... You will still have to, because the world does not revolve around you.

If you begin to think otherwise of all the things that you can do, hold on to who God tells you who you are. God always calls us to come just who we are. It is His Word that only matters. The world may applaud strong women but the world needs those who are kind. The world might always tell you to be perfect, but the world needs someone who understands. The world would always want you to be everything, just be who you are.

God is pleased with you, because of Jesus. If ever you can't accept whoever God is telling you who you are, take Jesus. Hold on to him who overcame, conquered it all for you. He loves you beyond how you love yourself. Accept that He wants to accomplish great things with you, outside your comfort zone. Stop listening to yourself and start building your identity to who he tells you that you are.

He will never leave you nor forsake you. He is for you and not against you. He never gave up on you. He cares for you. He's looking after you. All things work together for good to those who love God. Continue to delight yourself in the Lord, He will give you the desires of your heart. You are like a tree planted beside a river that flows forever; in and out of season you shall bear fruit. You are not abandoned. He is your portion, your secured lot. You are filled, full and overflowing. You are not who they say you are, or what you do. Choose your battle. And be human.

Spend your time wisely. Learn to say no. Love your family. Always be thankful of the people around you. Always work with purpose; where you are right now is where God called you to represent Him. Your resolve, never lose it. Live, laugh, love. Share life. Always, be confident in the Lord in whatever you love to do. Your life is all about Him, let it unfold.

Rejoice in the Lord always, again I will say to you, rejoice! Celebrate!


Con todo mi cariño,
Rau, 24

Hnnng

This very time of the day, I just want to breakdown and cry my heart out. Haha. I don't know. I don't understand but I am frustrated with myself. I can see how much mistakes and dirty secrets I have in my pocket. It's almost a month that I'm burdened with so much in work. I have lost my reason to do excellently in work; I want to withdraw. I'm trying to look for sources but everything, anthing wouldn't sustain. And it would hurt. Every time. Because I see how much I can't redeem myself. It frustrates me to death. But I have to go on. I have to face the consequences of my mediocrity, indifference of my purpose in work.

Whatever you do, work at it with all your heart, as working for the Lord, not for human masters, (Colossians 3:23)

So yeah, I have to be strong for my family, for my ladies, to those who needs to be encourage and to my heart in music. And when I think about God, who should be the only reason for all of these things that I am doing, to honor Him. I confess that lately it's been hard to keep in mind that it's all about Him. When frustrations try to paralyze me, I seem to forget why it's all about God. Why? Why God? Yet deep down my soul, God is the only one that she knows that won't run out, that won't give up even if I do.

Lately, I have been waking up early. Even though I try to sleep again, just like before, my soul would just start praying for random people. And just this morning, instead of staying in slumber with my mind active on things of the Spirit, I decided to respond and pray the prayer that goes inside of me. Usually, I get hyped up after my morning devotions. But this time, it feels so heavy. Haha. It feels like I have been carrying a burden without knowing until I was made aware how heavy it is already.

Therefore, since we are surrounded by such a great cloud of witnesses, let us throw off everything that hinders and the sin that so easily entangles. And let us run with perseverance the race marked out for us, (Hebrews 12:1)

And because I assume I know what to do, I thought I was doing the right thing. At least that's what I'm holding on. That I'm doing the right thing. Well, unlike others I'm not obsessed with doing things excellently, becoming something, but I always wanted to make everything right. So what do I do? Well, I always keep my hands in the situation. I wanted to make sure that everything goes according to how it should be, believing it should be. 

Then God rebuked me one saturday noon while doing the laundry. Yeah, I think I always get wisdom when I do laundry. Funny but doing the laundry quiets my mind at war. So...  He spoke a very familiar word: Prayer.  And I'm like, HOW IN THE WORLD IS THIS POSSIBLE, LORD? Like He knows how I wanted to protect these people and I am asking Him what should I do and He tells me to pray for them? I mean, really. JUST pray? 

Then I was figuring out how can prayer be powerful in the given circumstance. Along the way, I realize I forgot that  God is God. I mean, I can't work out God's will for their lives right? I can't say it is God's will for them if I am manipulating things on how it should be. I remember even getting to a point of looking for books or any articles on the internet on how to help friends in that certain season.  

We are accountable to God. Is there anything more powerful that this accountability out there? I mean, we can't expect people to be in all honesty to us. We can't compel them to. So how are we to judge the situation if we are not seeing the bird's eye view? Impossible right? Because it's not our job to. Our role in the story is to help them walk in Christ under whatever season. Remember that the enemy will always try to use everything on earth to distract us, separate us from our relationship to the Father. We don't have to hold the world for them, Jesus already died that burden for us. 

The Son is the image of the invisible God, the firstborn over all creation. For in him all things were created: things in heaven and on earth, visible and invisible, whether thrones or powers or rulers or authorities; all things have been created through him and for him. He is before all things, and in him all things hold together. And he is the head of the body, the church; he is the beginning and the firstborn from among the dead, so that in everything he might have the supremacy. For God was pleased to have all his fullness dwell in him, and through him to reconcile to himself all things, whether things on earth or things in heaven, by making peace through his blood, shed on the cross. (Colossians 1:15-20)

Every season is a crucible to us. Every season refines us into becoming the real The reason in every season might be unknown, it might even be indefinite, but one thing stands true: GOD IS GOD. That one thing will never change. That He still loves us. And He is for us. 

Lastly, if we want breakthroughs from a heavy season. Let's find our rest in the Lord. Not anywhere else. I believe there are a lot of reasons why we get to lose our resolve in what we're doing. It's that it is a routine, but solely because we forgot the purpose of it all. That what we're doing, what we're capable of doing right now is all by the grace of God. Let it be then that our perspective be eternal therefore letting those that lasts forever move us - faith, hope, love, peace, joy.

Again, I would like to remind everyone of us that we are not alone in this journey. Don't ever listen to the lies that God won't understand how you feel. He knows how you feel. He sees you. He knows every tear your eyes shed every time you hurt. He sees how you break down when things you want doesn't go the way you wanted it. And He hurts to see you hurt to. When you degrade yourself, when you slowly believe what others are telling you. It breaks His heart too. 

Jesus came to relate with us. Jesus came, overflowed with love enough to give His life to save and redeem us. He won that battle for you. He fought the battle in sweat and blood. Let me remind you too that He didn't give up, He obeyed even to the point of death, because he saw you and wanted you to live a victorious life. He took your depression, frustrations, stress, failures, mistakes, unforgiveness, shame, guilt and all that strains us. And give us a new life in new light.

This is funny. Sorry but this post is so random, got a lot of topics and yeah... so me, got to think about the issues I have to resolve, deal it with God the viola! Ministered to myself. 

Hahaha.

Oh, hello there!

Whatever it is that makes you feel alive. Pursue it. We don't live for regrets anymore. And when you get to reach satisfaction, cherish it. Don't let it go, keep yourself refreshed just like the first time you knew about how beautiful your dream is. And most importantly, remember that that one thing that makes you feel alive is because God has been breathing life in it to you. He is the source of the life that we have been wanting ever since - alive and fruitful. This, I know and can tell for sure, because of the great pursuit that I have for The Great One. The Only One that I know who could bring me into becoming more that what I wanted for my life. He knows the real desire of my heart. And that to be with Him, in His presence forever. There's nothing more that I want in life now than His will be done. He knows everything. He is in control. He is good. And He is my Father. All because of Jesus for this revelation and joy. All because of Jesus that I am accessible to every promises that He has spoken in the Testaments. And it is because of the Holy Spirit that I am empowered to stand in every mind and strength battle, He sustains. Life. And all that it is, that it offers. We can only experience the abudance of it in the fullness of His salvation. To fight for this truth under any circumstance. I, for myself learned to quiet my soul by His Word, where there is His Presence, my satisfaction. My portion who holds my lot secure.