Let us not become weary in doing good, for at the proper time we will reap a harvest if we do not give up.

Galatians 6:9

Wherever you are, whatever season you may be in. Let Him lord in it and through it. What's best in this life is still ahead and the condition is: do not give up. So in everything, choose to love. Choose to do the right thing.

KAHIT NA MAY KASALANAN KA, IIYAK AKO. PERO PAPATAWARIN KITA.

Have yourself a Merry Christmas!

Fighting for what we love sometimes may bring us in tears, in knees. But we've got to try, we've got to persist, we've got to give it all. The call of urgency: sink or swim, now or never. Cause if it's worth it, no amount of words against it shall measure up what you have decided to engage 'til the end. Time? Strength? Provision? Consent? These will not be an issues! We shall not be limited by these things - suppressing us in a small box! For God's grace is abounding; His love relentless! His unchanging character, faithful 'til the end, holds us up amidst all chaos, even within us. This is a win-win situation. We are marching, not towards victory but, from victory. Jesus already won it all! His death paid all the tolls we have go through in this world as we follow Him! His promise, "I will never leave you nor forsake you" will never ever ever ever cease! Will never end! Will never die out! Because this is the truth. That not that we love Him, but because He loved us first. And we know this because even in our darkest, He was there. Fear not. Despise not the tears welling up from our eyes as we fight for love. Because these tears shall empty what's overwhelming in our hearts - fear, rejection, discouragement, pain, persecution. And as we are become emptied from those that is not from God, know that He will restore what the enemy has stolen from you. Remember that the battle is already finished. Won. You don't need to struggle that much. You just have to know, to assure and secure your mind and soul and heart, that this fight is not mine, but of my God. Yes, Amen!

You don't give up the ones you love.

There is no reason to worry; no, do not be anxious. We don't live defeated lives anymore - stop the drama. We are victors, conquerors, and champions! We are blessed, we are empowered, we are safe! We are forgiven, we are clean, we are new! His promises assure and secure, take heart. He shepherds and move in the unseen, have faith. Declare good things in this life because He withholds no good thing to His children. Declare good things in this life because whatever you believe you received, it will be yours. Declare good things in this life so to taste and see the goodness of the Lord! Jesus WON these ALL on the cross. He died to set us free from brokenness, helplessness, curses, slavery, addiction and everything that drags us from the life He has for us. Then He was risen from the dead to give us the life restoring dominion and stewardship to all creations in the earth - receiving the adoption as the Father's children, breathing the Spirit in us as it continually reveals, unlocks the mystery of God's Kingdom in every season of our lives. And this is our destiny, God's plan for us - that we live a prosperous, hopeful and great life! :)

Lionhearted

Constantly challenging one self. Taking every single opportunity without regrets. Learning, developing and seeing beauty in all kinds of moments in life no matter how big/small they may be. Knowing what you're worth, treating yourself like you deserve to be treated. Simply, just being you and being brave. Like a lion you know, fight for what you stand for. A Lionheart would never give up on its dreams.

(via Urbandictionary)

Sometimes, I think that the only way to do the things that I have to is to get away from home. I know they are worried and all, but most of the times my guilt turns to anger from breaking their trust from the past. I don't know. I don't really know. It just sucks inside out. If only. If only. But all of those are in the past and I am in the present. There are still things that I have to do. So while I am within their bounds, I understand that I have to follow some house rules. And that is sparta. *laughs Yet I hope that it won't reach to the point that I have to decided to be 'independent' when I have 'home' around. I respect my family and I honor them. It's a struggle to me to follow their statutes when I have set of what I believe. But I love my God. Yes, and I have to follow it when He said to honor thy father and mother. It breaks my ego when they start to be directive but for the best, I have to and there's no age for it. I trust that as I commit to God what He has called me to do, He will make a way for it.

“Until one is committed, there is hesitancy, the chance to draw back, always ineffectiveness. Concerning all acts of initiative (and creation), there is one elementary truth that ignorance of which kills countless ideas and splendid plans: that the moment one definitely commits oneself, then Providence moves too. All sorts of things occur to help one that would never otherwise have occurred. A whole stream of events issues from the decision, raising in one's favor all manner of unforeseen incidents and meetings and material assistance, which no man could have dreamed would have come his way. Whatever you can do, or dream you can do, begin it. Boldness has genius, power, and magic in it. Begin it now.” -William Hutchison Murray

Ay Grabe. I want to get angry but I know I'm just sad and tired. I want to vent it to someone whom I know would emphatize and listen to me yet wouldn't tolerate my being irrational if ever.

"If you're going to discover the life God created you to live, you have to learn to say no to all other options. And the tough choices aren't between good and evil, but between all the equally good options out there that are simply not the right paths for you. You have to allow even the beautiful dreams to die when they are not supposed to be yours. To make even one dream come to a reality, many other dreams have to be sacrificed on the altar of your imagination. I love the insight that the word 'decide' is Latin for "to cut." Every one of us is a surgeon. We live lives cutting away every potential future we reject and giving life to the one we choose. Every choice required us to sacrifice one or more possibilities for the life we have chosen." - E. McManus on Wide Awake

Yung feeling na, you're not afraid to die. You just don't want yet 'cause there are still things you have to accomplish. Lust for life?

Why are there relationships that hurt?

She believes in miracles.

I'm young, but old. I want to run away with the sunset and chase dawn when it's time to come home. I want to be with the ones I love. I want to be beside the vast sea. I want to watch the starfield sky. I want to lay bare in pitch-black darkness and just savor my luminating night. Solitude.

"but you didn't"

For sometime now, a viral post had us a ticket for The Feels Land. According to sources, this poem turned into comic was made by a lady who had her husband sent back to Vietnam as a military, and wasn't able to come back. The poem was said to be discovered by their daughter after attending her mother's burial.

And without any further ado, I decided to have it in this blog and share it to all of you. This is really a wonderful story of 2 beautiful hearts . Where others see love from everything, they had it in "But You Didn't."

Please download for a clearer version. Sorry for the inconvenience. :)

This is one great #relationshipgoal, my friend. 

For the hopeless romantic

Because I was just so excited for the development of this manga, Chihayafuru, finally! A moment of silence for this very special page please...

HAHAHAHA. I don't know if this chapter was that good or I was just caught up with this very page. Taichi! Preparing for a greater battle to be of worth beside her queen, I guess? Huehue. "It's about asking fate for a chance to come across each other once more." J-culture is really wired into this thing - destiny and compatibility. These characters were really into these cards that even a single character would make them recall, relate to understand what the other wants to say. Each card has a story, the more you can relate, the higher the possibility you can connect to it immediately in the game. Well, that's how I perceive their game and it's not like I know I how to play it. No. I don't. But see how connected they are? Hahaha. Relationships that work that way. The more you get into each others' business, the better you understand. 

Kapag mahal ka, Babalikan ka.

So what if di ka binalikan, di ka na din mahal? Eh different din naman yung di ka na mahal kaya, di ka na binalikan.

Mejo masakit ha. Ako kasi yung isa sa mga di binalikan. Kasi, di na mahal.

Last September 7, I saw him. After a few years of being haunted of what has become of us. I saw his face. After a few years of waiting just for that day to come, time flew immediately. Everything was so fast that even a minute didn't count. Even if I wanted to stay longer, I could not any longer. I could not barely look at him because for sure I'd be staring for long. I was shaking. I said 'hi', he smiled in response.

He was smiling. I was happy to see him. He was smiling. That was the last thing I wanted to see from him. He was smiling. I didn't regret my decision to see him. He was smiling. How could he?

I don't know if I was hopeful for anything when I had the chance to see him. But all I know was, I have to see him. Because I need to. Because I want to leave everything that excites me about him behind.

The pain resurfaced as I started rolling on my bed. I wasn't able to sleep properly. If it was possible, I might have a stared in nowhere 'til dawn. I wasn't particularly thinking of him but I wished to be with him a bit more. I wish I had the chance to talk to him. I wish I had the chance to hang out with him. To simply by his side until I lose appetite for it.

Was I hung up that much?
Do I love him still?
What am I really expecting?

I wonder why did I get hurt after seeing him. I wanted him happy. Sana with me. But it's impossible. The way he smiled at me, it was alive. Even without me, everything about him was beaming. He's like the coolest guy on earth!

I want to move on. Paano ba mag-move on? Hahaha. I'm not bitter, promise. It was hurting but I don't regret my decision to see him. I want to seriously get accustomed with everything about him and later on realize he's one ordinary thing for me nalang.

For some time, my prayer was this: (Ps. 139:23-24)

²³ Search me, O God, and know my heart!
    Try me and know my thoughts!^[a]
24 And see if there be any grievous way in me,
    and lead me in the way everlasting!^[b]

 "I wanted to make things right with God." This stand, I heard from one pastor over one podcast, really struck me. From then on, I could remember I was praying Ps. 139:23-24 within me. Well I wasn't really aware about it since it was casual for me to think about this person for a time or two. And maybe, just maybe, because God now is telling me that I have a new beginning through Him. He wants to deal with this issue in my heart.

Then it happened. Then I kept thinking about him in leisure time which wasn't really helpful or productive. And because of that, I took God's word for help (2 Corinthians 5:10):

⁵ We destroy arguments and every lofty opinion raised against the knowledge of God, and take every thought captive to obey Christ,

You might mistaken me for running away from this feeling. But this feeling is deceiving. We ended because it was wrong. I admit I am weak to handle him, but I would like to stand to my God's blessings and promises of New Beginning.

¹⁷ Therefore, if anyone is in Christ, he is a new creation.^[a] The old has passed away; behold, the new has come. 2 Corinthians 5:17

 This verse has been my chant ever since the day. I am eager to find that new beginning. Now that I know that there's nothing I could expect from him anymore, except from friendship. I wished anew. I want to be refreshed from everything that has happened in my life that is continually running through my subconsciousness.

I WANT TO MAKE THINGS RIGHT WITH GOD. AGAIN.

He is just so gracious to give me this chance. And together with this, He allowed this blessing I would like to fight for: a chance to work in BIR. I don't know if my chance is slim or what but I'm taking the chance. I'm gonna fight for it knowing God is with me.

I'm gonna fight because He has given me a new beginning. Because I have my race to finish. Because I have dreams I wish to come true. Because I have to live my purpose.

Isaiah 43:18-19

¹⁸ “Remember not the former things,
    nor consider the things of old.
¹⁹ Behold, I am doing a new thing;
    now it springs forth, do you not perceive it?
I will make a way in the wilderness
    and rivers in the desert.

Are we really in-love or just dazed and confused?

Children, obey your parents in the Lord for this is right. Honor your father and mother that it may go well with you and that you may live long in the land.

Ephesians 6:1-2

Yung tipong, Lord DMD!

Grace? Love? Peace? Siksik, liglig at umaapaw! Di ko maiwasang maisip ngayong gabi na dahil sa pagmamahal mo sa amin, Ikaw na nga gumawa ng paraan para di kami mapalayo sayo, naabuso ka pa. Sa grace mo, sa ginawa ni Jesus, naging madali ang lahat sa para sa amin upang magdasal at lumapit sa Iyo ng buong buo. 

"If grace was an ocean, we're all sinking." Sin is serious to you, because You are holy. But You were desperate for us, because You love us. So desperate that left me thinking the psalm "who am I that You are so mindful of me?" always. Always. And might take me forever, an eternity or maybe never if I try to understand it. 

And Your glory that You desire for us? For the God of the universe, He who created everything by His word, and He who said "I AM" to time and space. To impart it to us like God seriously, quotang-quota na kami sa Iyo! 

Yung feeling na kayang-kaya ko gawin lahat, kasi You gave the confidence in victory that Jesus won on the cross; kasi You are for us and not against us. Pero I want Your way for me. That there's nothing in this world that I want but Your will be done upon me. And where ever we are, I know God has a plan and He is pleased with us. He is the God of peace that transcends all understanding. Through Jesus, nothing is broken, nothing is missing. Shalom!  

From week one upto the third, may last week pa of course. You have made me seriously look at Jesus. What He did on the cross. What kind of a Father is God. Like grabe, even Jesus in the heaven sitting at the right hand of the Father is interceding for us. Also, sending the Holy Spirit just to make sure that we are well taken care of.

Lord, DMD talaga. 

Jesus, the Lamb of God - The Perfect Redeemer. 
Jesus, the High Priest - The Perfect Mediator. 
Jesus, the Suffering Servant - The Perfect Substitute. 

My heart is so grateful, O God. So much awe, so much indescribable feelings and unspoken words as to Your greatness. I am humbled by Your grace. Thank You for taking it all. Thank You for being the Once and for all sacrifice that has to be, in order to restore our relationship with the Father, for enabling forgiveness to take effect to us, for never giving up to the end. Thank You Jesus! Thank You.

Because he has set his love upon me therefore I will deliver him; I will set him on high because he has known My name. He shall call upon me and I will answer him. I will deliver him and honor him. With long life I will satisfy him and show him My salvation.

Lord, my heart cries. I know You have plans for me. I know time is in Your hands. Still my heart. In this unknown, my hope is in You. Jesus, my trust is in You.

I feel like everyone's moving forward and I'm stuck. But everyone's having a great time without too much effort and I'm always pushing myself to be always in a good place. That whatever they do they prosper; just by doing what they love to do, upto their heart's content, they grow and blossom. So blessed! So fortunate! So great! :)

Cut it out! You have always been blessed!

I should really should cut it out - this poverty mindset. If only it's possible to live alone or gouge my eyes out just stop being intimidated from others, of course it is, but like I can! I love myself too much for that. Haha. Anyway, real talk. If only I could stop being so envious about all the good things others have, I might have been the cool kid you know in the block. 

You see, the word last Sunday really challenged me ever since I stepped out of the hall. I am blessed long time ago; I am favored, that I know. "You seem unconvinced," Pastor said after revealing this title. I must admit, that these words I know for a fact, but for someone like me who tingles when things don't seem pleasant, it's an ooookay. No blood rushing for excitement nor adrenalin to look forward to it.

I am contemplating, really, of how to deal with this kind of disease. It's just ironic to realize that, I feel inferior to those people I cherish the most. I mean, I really love them! I am proud of them and ever have I always wanted to be walking beside them. Then I see great things happen to them, I get to congratulate them and suddenly everything feels churning.

Why things like that happen to me?

Just this morning, I received a quote from a daily inspiration message you get from facebook. It said something like "You don't have be in a roller coaster ride in this life, you need to be constant." Then I thought, Life is at constant, unless the One give shall take. Getting into the roller coaster ride of life is upon how you see situations that either goes at hand or out of the way. So we need to be positive. Yep! Positive.  As if.

It's really hard for me you know but I want to break out from this that tangles me for so years already. I have seen the consequences of this action, but WHY CAN'T I JUST GET RID OF IT.

Sigh.

I don't wanna be called a green-eyed monster.

                    ---------------------------------------oOo---------------------------------------

We are rich in Christ Jesus, so there is nothing to be intimidated, get pitied, or agitated about the tomorrow. Isn't the birds more important than you? Didn't He say, He has plans for us to prosper,  and not to harm us, to give us hope and a future?  

And my God will meet all your needs according to the riches of his glory in Christ Jesus. (Philippians 4:19) NIV

We have always been blessed.
 Ephesians 1:3 says,

Praise be to the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, who has blessed us in the heavenly realms with every spiritual blessing in Christ.

Has blessed is in the perfect tense, which means even from the ancient ages up to this millennia, God had never had a time to bless up. Grace! Okay, you might be thinking that this might be out of context since what is stated are spiritual blessings, not blessings, which could actually fit in the scenario that we are actually abundant in this world needless to say. But, have you forgotten who we are? We are the people of God, spiritual men of God. Spiritual blessings, by all means, are those that we, His children, need for life.

We have to renew, refresh and restart our poverty mindset. We are rich in Christ! Our portion in this matter is that we have to believe in His word! Have you ever seen a believer abandoned? Even those who are persecuted, still praise God until death because He never left them! He filled them with His presence, so much more compared to what they are experiencing. They speak about God. They believe His word. And so shall we.

If anything, self-fulfilling prophecies shall all be positive. And to see all the good things our Father has done:

• Use what you have
• Be grateful for what you have
• Don't be jealous for what others have

The crown of thorns Jesus wore on the cross signifies the breaking of all human weak and ill mentalities. He wore it because He knows how evil mind can be. Praise God. So whatever it is that you might be waiting for, you are asking for, claim it! The victory is won in His name! It is a blessing to know that we are given this confidence in Christ Jesus.


Spiritual Blessings

Let us get into further Ephesians 1:3's spiritual blessings. So these are some and top of God's spiritual blessings to us:

• Chosen for Salvation (John 15:16, Ephesians 1:4)
• Adopted as His child (John 1:12, Psalms 37:25)
• We are forgiven (Psalms 103:12, Micah 7:19, John 10:10)

Know that GOD IS the source of all blessings
 
If our biological fathers do anything just to give us everything, doesn't this more apply to our Heavenly Father? The King of Kings? The Lord of Lords? In His hands, blessings are blessings! It never hides into other clothing or add up anything that could ruin the meaning of it. Proverbs 10:22 "The blessing of the Lord makes rich, and he adds no sorrow with it." When God blessed you a work, it is blessing! When it turned out to be out of your comfort zone, your work is still God's blessing! In due time if you are proven worth it, He shall promote! Obey and prioritize, turn tables and know that blessings are along the way.

So whatever it is that has or to come our way, let us remember that in each and every step of the way God is before us. He is with us. 

All things work together for good!  That is the truth. And we ought to own it.

"We're going to move forward again."

Moving forward.
Again.

But it was a moving forward without a period nor comma lest any punctuation mark with again.
You see the difference?

Something to ponder tonight.

A relentless kind moving forward. People who speaks like these are those who went through a lot, I believe. Saying these words as if it's always okay to move forward again. Gee. That's a lot of tough life, don't you think?

I want to...

"I want to save lives."

After watching the news about this UP prodigy, graduating 1.004, I asked myself: What's next for her? Then she said those lines. It's as if, it's the first time I have understood every word she spoke.

To save lives.

To save lives.

To save lives.

Those words really rang into my being. From those words, I thought, she was able to find what she really wanted to do.

She wanted to save lives.

And there I felt it. A soothing brush in my soul, lifting the weighs of  jailed years in my heart. I felt it. Really. Right in my chest. Why didn't I recognize the very voice that has been inside me saying, "I want to help." I long forgotten about that feeling because I thought it wasn't going to help me when I grow up and work. 

Practicality. That's who I cultivated in this world. Fearing I won't be able to survive if I only think about helping, I need to earn. Thinking what others said, helping others won't get you anywhere to become rich, I gave up on it. I mustered courage to face the reality as so they say, but the more I come closer to it, the more I realize I'd like to be someone who could be of great help. Be it the one who closes the curtain when the show ends, or those who are at the backstage preparing the front liners. I would gladly offer a hand.


During college, almost everything was restricted. Because the only thing that must be is that I should graduate on time. I don't know if my parents were not okay with me having extra-curricular activities but they were... protective. It's hard to move without any moral support you know. So yeah. I underwent great ordeals with them regarding my fondness of doing extra-curricular activities, but God knows how I never regretted participating any of those.  And I wish I could've done more.

Then I thought of words that might go along with it.
'I want to build', 
'I want to create',
'I want to inspire', 
'I want to be just like...' 
And countless of hopeful words.

And I would like to say, this is not just some kind of American Dream as they say but a path  you can surely build up in the good future. The drive of continuing. The purpose of your existence. There must be a lot of things these thoughts might offer you so do not shun it away. If people say there is nothing you can benefit from desiring it, do not lose heart. Because I tell you, there's no one that has a heart like you do.

Friends, time will come when you realize want you want to do. If it comes in a very specific manner, congratulations!  all the courage in the universe and never give up, you shall find your way up there in no time. And if you are the same as me whose been and still picking up the pieces in the great puzzle, pursue it. The moment you had that puzzle get to solve, it's gonna be worth it.

I never intended this post to be this long but I thought I wanted to remember this and maybe share a thought for some readers out there. It's because times like these are answered prayers. And I genuinely honor it. The fact that I cannot deny in my soul that I want to help, someday I shall be in the nation, in the nations. I don't know what lies ahead but I have something to hold on. That in everything that I experience, it's one step towards this goal in my heart: to be of great help. 

And satisfaction has dawned in me.

God has set you apart. Do not feel outcast if you have desire the world may never understand. God placed that in your heart because you are the best, the fit person for it. Cherish it. Nurture it. Someday, you will meet people who will guide you, whom you will have the same desire to make a better future in this world.

It's becoming clearer. What I've been praying, that is.

The keyword is: BELIEVE

This morning, while traveling going to work, the minister said over the radio,

Kapag may pananampalataya ka, mangarap ka!

With so much conviction and encouragement in his voice, he shared his experience of hoping to go to US with whatever his plans there. Believing that country won't just be plain map before his eyes. It happened.

"Never give up. The keyword is believe." 2 Corinthians 1:20 says," For all the promises of God in Him are Yes, and in Him Amen, to the glory of God through us."NIV

• Be specific. In your prayer be specific of what you desire. This way, God sees how serious, genuine or desperate are we for us, over the time we are asking for it.
• Know in your heart, mind and soul that He is faithful. Doubt everything in this world but God's word. The world may pass but His word shall remain - that's how grounded His word for us!
• After all, God's business is answering our prayers . How amazing is that? Do you have anymore to say? Haha.

So... you're someone who's been waiting for like forever? And it made you frustrated and disappointed, draining all hopes the universe had given you? And what do you do? You blame others, you blame yourself. You think you're cursed and will never get a promotion, be struck being a no one. Then you compare yourself to others, you think you're inferior and you think you don't deserve any of these. Then you blame others, you blame yourself... repeat chorus.

A tiring odd ugly dull life.

But you can never solve your problem by blaming others, only by praying... Remember that your enemy is not your brother or sister (including circumstances, whatever) , it is the devil. Do not fight wrong battles, love.

Our God is limitless!
Our Gos is miraculous!
The keyword is believe. You have to.

Dreaming about what you love, for me, is the most beautiful thing in this world. No, wait.  In the entire universe! It's like you are to become a supernova that will significantly contribute in the interstellar mediums and help in the formation of new stars! Others will not understand how our language, hope, works for us, but Jesus got our backs! He left the Holy Spirit, the testimonies of hundreds of believers in the bible as our guide and strength. The world may lie but The Word is the truth.

Now, imagine living our dreams. How much of a beauty shall it be?

Tiwala lang. 

Darating din tayo jan. 

Praise the Lord for the future He has stored for us! And mind, that's not some future you think for yourself. It's the kind of future that no one can ever stop and steal away from the One who planned it all.

I just got a grasp of what He's trying to do. Although either ways were blessings. The approaches are different. And the results? The other floats in the surface while the other sinks deep.

And now what are you waiting for? Get up, be baptized and wash your sins away, calling on his name.

Acts 22:16

Encounter na yaaan!

Sweet dreaming!

Here's something to ponder from one of my favorite anime, like ever!

Cheese in the Trap

Introducing: Cheese in the Trap! I'm not a k-fanatic okaaay? But this Manhwa is just so... so... kilig! My goodness! A good read for 20's who like comics, manga, manhwa, etc. You can read this at webtoon.com and see how interesting the story is! Gee. I don't know if this story will go twisted and kicking wicked but got me all hooked up. Haha. There are a lot of manhwas out there who are good you know, specially if you are looking for wholesome romantic stories and freaking thrillers! YES. As bad as J-mangas have! 

Anyway, Yoo Jung Sunbae, if you weren't just that indifferent, I would have dropped this story as a typical romcom. Yoo Jung's dark, and that's something. Hahaha.  I wonder if the story will go smooth or he'll get himself into his dark mode - ruining everything. *wicked laugh

Abba, Father!

Abba, Father.

For several times, I have heard these words with a strong emotion. It was not just a prayer or call Jesus did when He had to endure everything in the cross. Most of the times, when I read about it on devotions or see it in lenten movies, I think of it as a sound of going home. I remember a song that quotes, 

 If I find in myself desires nothing in this world can satisfy,
I can only conclude that I was not made for here.

Jesus knew He wasn't for this world but He came anyway. He met people who were sick, corrupt, people who doesn't even recognize Him for who He was. He walked with people who never understand Him, mocks Him, and even betrayed Him. He was in the wicked world showing a glimpse of heaven's warmth.

Then He called out His Father in Heaven. But He didn't ask to get Him out of the cross. He could if He decides to. He is capable of more than any human could. He is Human. He is God.

"Abba, Father." And He spoke with Him. It's as if He was drawing strength in every word He speaks with the Father. And if I could narrate what the Father is whispering into His heart, it would be like, "Just a little longer my child." But how do you suppose anyone to react with this when you are in so much pain and you're dying hard? But Jesus went on like a slaughtered lamb. He was quiet and still. He was just with the Father. 

And thereafter, His spirit was taken up in Heaven.
And the victory has won.

So, what is the difference between ‘Father’ and ‘Abba’? Essentially, Abba is more of a personal name, whereas ‘father’ is a reference to a function or relationship. The word Abba implies total trust, whereas Father speaks of a known relationship, which only comes to adults. Used together, Abba, Father, denote trust and love, as well as a personal relationship. This can be discerned in the three texts quoted above. (http://www.christiandoctrine.com/christian-doctrine/theology/601-abba-father)

Yesterday, the world celebrated Father's day. A day to honor and give thanks to all our biological fathers who loved us beyond all means. So, as to our Father in Heaven. He was the primary example of how it is to become a father in every family even though His exemplary actions were divine. But His understanding, love and forgiveness is just how it should be.

To the present generation and generations to come, the Father is looking forward of a Nation that knows the great I am.

As the parents as and as future parents, what are we ought to do?
You shall love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your might. (Deut. 6:4)

So how do we do it?
You shall teach them diligently to your children, and shall talk of them when you sit in your house, and when you walk by the way, and when you lie down, and when you rise. ⁸ You shall bind them as a sign on your hand, and they shall be as frontlets between your eyes. ⁹ You shall write them on the doorposts of your house and on your gates. (Deut. 6:8-9)

And because it is Father's day, we have a special message from the Ultimate Father to the fathers of our lands. It might sound like a reminder to anyone but it's worth pondering. (Specially to all God's daughters out there, you might want to know what kind of man God wants you for forever!) Now, let's hear it.
  Daddies! Here are your roles:

• Leaders. Specially in the spiritual aspect of their family. He must be able to lead them to God under whatever circumstances. That He must set as an example of acknowledging God in his life. We must also understand that Fathers are given the authority to lead their families in decisions. And since recently dropping as to the world's current system. We, hereby declare restoration to the leadership that fathers must have at home!
• Lover. A quote in Filipino tells it all, " Kung love me, kaya mong magsacrifice. Happy ka magprovide dahil mahal mo sila." When you love someone, you are willing to sacrifice - because it is your joy to provide for them. Busy dads? Rarely at home dads? All to provide your needs! But God isn't busy nor rarely at home; He is also your dad, you know?
• Listener. Train and encourage them to develop their full potential. And in order to unleash them into extent, you have to know every concern a child has. Because it is when you listen to them, you get them to listen to you. Be there to encourage them at all times; tighten your bond and see how your child take good high flights.

Fathers, do not provoke your children to anger, but bring them up in the discipline and instruction of the Lord. (Eph. 6:4) Do not exasperate (exercise overwhelming authority) nor provoke (to anger)your children, but pray for them and talk to them. Fathers, bear in mind that the ultimate authority is God. With all these guidelines and reminders for a God-loving family, it is still through God that everything is possible.

John 13:7

"You do not realize now what I am doing, but later you will understand." (NLT)

Ah... What am I doing here?

Apparently, this is what I feel.

Sentiments 101

Dear me,

Can you please make your day happy? Whenever you come and make an entry it's always drama. Do you realize it? Sigh. Why don't you make entries whenever you're happy too? Get a life. A happy life. Laugh. Love. Live.

Concerned citizen of your mystical, lunatic world,
Rau

Hahaha. As much as I'd like to, there's nothing wonderful to post. Yet. I don't know if it already passed by, happening without dropping by to say hi, or I just won't recognize it because my eyes are shrouded with much concerns in this world, which I'd like to say that doesn't concern me at all.

If only I could say that.

WHY DO I ALWAYS FEEL LIKE THIS?

The it's already a quarter of the year and I'm rolling my life in a very "beautiful" way. Please notice sarcasm.

So, what to do?
Listen to what He says.
Like, what is He saying?
You're being impatient.

Times like this, I wanna go back into being a child and just cuddle up to mom. That is, if I'd known about this, with this, will she care?

Yesterday, I was cleaning my room. I decided then to throw, even burn, stuffs that makes me stuck for like forever. I found accounting reviewers, old diary pieces, and other antics sorts of antics. I was reading those, just out of a spur. 

And guess what?

I was full of anime.

HAHAHHA. Is there anything new? I was expecting something something. Things like, how actually did I spent my days. Hahaha. That wasn't a catch at all. Boring life. What a boring kid! Hahaha. All I wrote was about anime and all, blah blah. Nothing but anime! Seriously. 

Well I have other entries just how a dear diary should be, but the most of it... the most of it... Anyway, as one of my entry said, I had this trait that whenever I feel forgetting something, or I feel like I wanted to be strong or far away, I watch anime. Just as I noticed it years ago, I brought it as, really, a bad habit to break.

And that's not good. No good at all. I don't want to fill my entire diary (literal and superficial) to be full of stories that actually doesn't exist! It makes life harder, you expect something from the impossible. Well, you know, that difference between impossible that has a remedy of hope, which is in the context of reality. And the impossible, that is, absolutely no way in this space and time is going to happen.

So mmmm. I need to do something about it.
A Radical Change.

Can I?

I want...

It...

I want to change. I want to be the one that is suppose to be me. And iisn't that 180 degrees turn of life navigation against your self controlled predictable life? Always and always facing the same course whenever encountering accounts that recalls negative ions in the universe.

Am I still speaking sense? Haha. I wish I could blog in ways that could stir excitement, curiosity, wander, interest and inspiration.

I will be one.

I will become one.

Years are still ahead of me.

It's never too late, I believe that, yet no one knows.

I'd still believe tho.

I want to move on form the past. I want to leave it all behind me. I want anyone to understand that I want to change for the better. Not as a settlement for anything but to get equipped for every change - opportunities & setbacks along the way.

I'd still believe, I guess. It's the only way. To believe in the goodness of the Lord. It's like we're given blinders to keep us straight ahead. Of courses, horses won't neigh "I'm lost!" right? I bet they would just continue as long as there is a road to walk on to.

But how about that horse encounters twin roads which leads to... no one knows? How shall that be? Well I guess that horse should know that it has a driver. And because animals have a distinct character of being loyal to the one who takes care of them. They know trust. And that's it. Life continues. It's not that we eliminate what is inevitable in this horse's journey, but the thing is, nothing else matters. No, nothing yet. Food to eat, clothes to wear, money to spend. Don't you that horse's have more than enough? He who leads the horse well, He who feeds Him in the green pastures, He who offers the sky as an invincible roof, He who offers the rivers that overflows, He who offers the forest land with treasures untold.

Whatever it will be. Go and make the change you can only make. Because the knowledge that you are looking for is how to live your life. Because the wisdom you want to gain will come from your journey. Because the testimonies you shall pass from generation to generation shall nothing but yours.


 

Frail Humanity

Life. What can I say. There's so much to say about it.

Beautiful.

Cruel.

Broken.

Wonder.

Of course it depends on how one sees it.

But now, I mourn for a sister.
A sister in Christ I will always remember for her wit.

Ate Jenny's death was so sudden. I couldn't believe it. Her illness was new to me but I didn't think it could go as far as this. Taking her away from her family.

She was just celebrating life with her newborn. I believe she was looking forward to be a mom - to be a wonderful mother. 

I don't know what went wrong but I guess it's just really her time to go home. I mean, I know she was really taken care of, just because. She is lovable. When I see her, she's always radiant. Happy just like her older sister.

Now I wonder, did she left fulfilling her purpose?
What went wrong?

Death always reminds me how my life has been. Thoughts like, 'If someone died in my family, will they concern themselves the way I do?" Something selfish even at someone's death eh? But seriously, from one time to another, situations like this makes me evaluate how's my life. I don't know if it helps me clear my mind of what do I really want to do or what shall be my legacy. But sure one passes and you move to something uncertain - once again.

Death is the same as life as we know it, that's somehow what I believe. You live. Then die. When someone dies, somewhere in the world lives. No one really knows how long could our breathes could actually take hold and make the most of it. Our growth, in time, makes us count about it. Our stops and beginnings, make or break records, wants us either to slow or fasten along the journey.

Life is simple. You find your purpose: You're done.

And my Nanay underwent the same danger.
For 9 months she took care of herself, thrice.
Every minute her life was away, thrice.
Since then she gave herself, thrice.


 

The world as it is. Now.

I'd like to belong to the few.
To the few who loves.
To the few who trusts.
To the few who believes in forever.

I'd like to be with the few.
The few who runs the mountains.
The few who swims the seas.
The few who breathes the air of the earth.

Brokenness.
Broken promises.
Broken relationships.
Broken dreams.
People becomes shattered inside. And becomes bitter in the inside.
Disappointments well up and  breeds bitterness.
Negativity. Passivity.  Hopelessness.

The world has become a place to people to become selfish and 'get what they think they deserve' and be rotten and scream in angst "I'm tired!" They did all they could to just go as far as possible. Yet they stay in the same place. They never move. 

Or so it seems.

I remember Paper Towns' Margo quote,  

"When I've thought about him dying - which admittedly isn't that much - I always thought of it like you said, that all strings inside him broke. But there are a thousand ways to look at it: maybe the strings break, or maybe our ships think, or maybe we're grass - our roots are so interdependent that no one is dead as long as someone is still alive. We don't suffer from a shortage of metaphors, is what I mean. But you have to be careful which metaphor you choose, because it matters. If you choose the strings, then you're imagining a world in which you can become irreparably broken. If you choose grass, you're saying that we are all infinitely interconnected, that we can use these root systems not only to understand one another but to become one another. The metaphors have implications..."

and so on.

I really like the thought of it's how you metaphor your life; then you name the cycle after your own story. Well, how does you see life anyway? What is life in the first place.

Anyways, this mind is probably stirred by John Green's Paper Town. I really like how deep and sometimes how mysterious are his works. You see, he loves literary (of course) bringing it into a passionate gray level and leaves sighing. Always.

My point here is that I'm so disturbed of how much broken the world - accepting the love they think they deserve - because of so much longing thinking it's the only way it could complete them. But how about thinking that their life is life. In the literal sense, life is not broken or anythin. Life is living. Life is a fresh course everyday, not broken, not withered, not failing. Life.

I wouldn't hurt so much if people try to live that way. I even wonder where did this hurt came from. Isn't some kind of pride, selfishness, or anything in between that says "It should be." I don't know, really. I could not say that this is in behalf of those that are like me, because I don't know if there who thinks like me. 

People exerts so much for love. Just to gain love. Just to know love.

Love is right where you fell. We don't recognize it because it's not how we see "our" kind of love. Unless we ourselves know what it is, we can never go deeper the depths. I love to think that there are always depths in everything. And nothing can go far if even comprehending the simplest you can't.

Soiree Noir Love

Hello there long time amour!
We met again.
But you see,
It's never the same.

I wish there was spark.
I wish there were chill.
I wish I am still in love.
With you.

I wish you noticed.
I wish you knew.
I wish we were friends.
So I'd want more.

But I'm just a pretty face.
I talk nonsense.
I wish I am still in love.
With you.

Your hand was light
You tamed me on my right
Then I knew who we were
Strangers in both of our eyes


Twice you did it
Twice I pushed my feelings
Not away
Yet now, towards you

I wished I am still in love
It could've been good
Healthier
If it's you.

Believe by Faith

God is faithful. Even if we're not.

We are bound to what's destined for us.

Only God knows what is it - what are those, but for sure, there's a lot of things God wants to accomplish in our lives. It's not only you who wants to go through a lot of beautiful experiences in this life. God wants it more than we desire for our lives.

One question that has brought me into realization to pursue is this:

IF YOU WON'T FAIL, WHAT WILL YOU DO?

Well for this conversation, this question applies to the encouragement "TRUST GOD".

In my current situation, I have just realized that I am surrounded by people who merely has a relationship with God. All my life, ever since I was a born again, I have been with people who only believes in Him, everyone was so passionate in pursuing God. Later did I know that I wasn't able to prepare for the next stage of life that will challenge all that I have stored up as a believer.

Being aware of what's right in the eyes of God, learning what others think about people who doesn't practice what they preach, and figuring out things if you're ready in the timeline of life or not. Things like these pressures me, quite often I become anxious because what people say strangles me. But I thank God the more I feel helpless because His word stands true that, "in my weakness, You are my strength."

Honestly, it's because of His word that I still have the guts to soar higher, never give up and do my best. Knowing you won't fail because Jesus has won the victory, because You trust Him no matter what, because He is good, you will definitely seek for more!

The statement left me a hang over. And maybe it will last. Forever.
I thank God to have made me realize this. I know He's carved it in my soul.
How do I know? Because I won't let it go.

He had been encouraging me for like years to grow more in faith, that is more than believing. It's like, faith is the another word for believing, in the spiritual realms. So yeah. It took me years to fully understand. Indeed, when you hear His word as an answer to your plea, it is indeed irrevocable. Certainly the calling to have faith.

Since yesterday, or should I say even before, He's been telling me to "ask more" and "hold on". I admit that I was putting God in a box. I was living a carnal life. Trying to work out my spiritual life through so much human efforts - which is definitely tiresome wrong. I am guilty for this kind of living. I was always afraid to ask more because I might get disappointed because what if it's not for me or because there's just too much to ask and God might not handle it. In short, my mentality was to never disturb God.

See what kind of mentality I have? It's stiff.

But God's grace! He's really working in my life. He allows things to shake us to see that we need Someone who can't be shaken. He allows things to hurt us to make us feel that we're broken and there's a vacuum that He alone can fill. He allows things to shame us so that we may learn to speak the truth. He allows people to know you because He wants to show Himself through You. 

God has better plans for us. There's just a lot! Faith is all we need. Believing God's word helps us fill the holes created by the world to us.

We might be corrupted in mind, body and spirit.

But through Jesus, we are new. "The old is gone, the new has come."

His death made a way for us to be forgiven and be blessed.

His death redeemed us.
His scars healed us.
His blood cleansed us.
His love saved us.

 

Happy 2015!

Declaring greater things for this year! 

Greater challenges may come all the way but God holds us in His right. He is who He said He is. He is faithful. He is merciful. He is gracious. He is loving. He is kind. He withholds nothing for those who love Him. God has been great through out our lives and He will continue to live it up as long as we live - forever and ever.

God is on our side. He protects us. He doesn't waste anything. 

GOD IS WITH US.

Praise God! I'm better than before. I've got another 365 chances and opportunities that is at reach. Thank You Lord!

 
Again, happy 2015! :)