The key to becoming is beholding. Becoming is a springing identity. So it's more of a, we become who, not what, we behold. What is talking about the process of change, while who focuses on the identity building. Now, who are we beholding to become, in order to love and lead.

'cause I remember it all too well

day twenty five

words left unsaid

"You can only repent for yourself."

If someone loves you, he will honor, respect and wait for you. - Pastor Toch

It pierced through. He was speaking to all the ladies inside the room. I knew he was personal to every soul because he spoke like our own father. He spoke right through our longings.

Lord, I can't imagine how still you have been blessing me. Protecting and pursuing me in ways so visible in my eyes. Yet, here I am, still convinced with my justifications. Rebellion. Religion. Restlessness. These have kept me from believing, trusting and receiving Your breakthroughs, Your promises. Lord, I pray that you overcome me, consume me, overtake me with Your loving kindness. Have mercy on me. My soul only longs to honor and worship Your name. Lord, You are holy. Your ways are righteous. And You are good. Lord, save me from myself. Change me. I yield to You. I surrender.

day twenty four

"True humility is not something we can achieve. It is not self-help or a life hack but a response to God's inconvenient initiative and uncomfortable help."

"I am thinking, if one person is changed by what I go through, then it's worth it."

day twenty three

Hi Lord.

Yang it feels like everyone is moving. Going here from there. From being my constants, they are now somehow becoming my uncertainties. But they're expanding territories, as it should be, as how You want it to be. They are in tough situations yet have amazing faith and plans that change them inside-out. They have beautiful dreams. And really, amazing people. 

God, I pray that you bless their obedience. I pray that you keep them as they get out of their comfort zone and step.out in faith. I pray that you continually guide them. I pray that you mighty move in their midst. I pray for favor upon favor in every transactions and decisions that they will be making. I pray that you grace them with Your Presence wherever they may be and may they continually honor You at home, at school, at work, or in their priorities. God, I thank You for the lives of these people who are obeying You. They are indeed and greatly a blessing to me and the people arounf them.

I pray for Gee Ann, Aya and Clarisse. That they wiil grow in loving Your Word. I pray that You create in them a heart the desires for You. I pray that for everyday of their lives, they will be filled with love, patience, joy and hope. I pray that You let them taste and see your goodness and faithfulness incomparably. Jesus, thank you for their lives.

God, though I quite know where he's going. It still made me sad, somehow, to hear directly his plans. No assurance for anything; such a courageous one. I pray that You provide where Your will and his obedience meet. I pray that you bless the works of His hands and may You give life to every word that he speaks. I pray for Your Spirit to be upon him. I pray that You still his heart with Your goodness and grace. I pray that Your joy, hope and love overtake him. Satisfy his longing soul. Captivate him by your beauty. He is Your son, whom You are well pleased. A man after Your own heart. You are in his midst so he will not fear evil, for You are his Shepherd. You rejoice and dance over him with a loud singing. You love him with an everlasting love. And he will rise and shine and proclaim that You are the Great I Am.

And as for me, God, I pray that I will get to love to know You better and deeper. I pray to become a presence safe and healing. I pray to become someone who loves her family and her home. I pray that You give me wisdom to live my remaining days. I pray that, in the name of Jesus, to live for the rest of my life in the fullness of Your love, joy, peace and grace. 

I pray for my family, God, that You make them turn to You. I pray that You protect them from all harm and danger and sickness. 

I pray for the ladies in the victory group, that they will have a heart for You, my God. May Your Word come knocking in their hearts, and may their soul continually seek You. I pray that You secure and grace them everyday with Your protection and love and peace.

Thank you, Holy Spirit, for the self control. For taking care of me everyday. For making me calm when anxities and fears come harrassing me. Thank you.

I pray for every heart in the leaders retreat, God. That you give us rest amd peace. God, though some may be overwhelming, help us live today and move forward. Give us faith for Your will be done in our lives. 

In Jesus' name, Amen. 

Close your eyes, dry your tears, 'cause when nothing seems clear, you'll be safe here.

Sing aloud, O daughter of Zion; shout O Israel! Rejoice and exult with all your heart, O daughter of Jerusalem! The Lord has taken away the judgements against you; he has cleared away your enemies. The King of Israel, the Lord, is in your midst; you shall never again fear evil. On that day it shall be said to Jerusalem: let not your hands grow weak. The Lord your God is in your midst, a mighty one who will save; he will rejoice over you with gladness; he will quiet you by his love; he will exult over you with loud singing. (Zephaniah 3:14-17) The Lord, the Lord , a God merciful and gracious, slow to anger, and abounding in steadfast love and faithfulness, keeping steadfast love for thousands, forgiving iniquity and transgression and sin. (Exodus 34:6-7) The Lord will fight for you, and you have only to be silent. (Exodus 14:14)

😭😭😭😭😭😭😭

Gospel of Hope for Self-Haters

Don't worry, Rau. Get some sleep. Rest. You'll be alright.

BEHOLD YOUR KING. Rejoice greatly, O daughter of Zion! Shout aloud, O daughter of Jerusalem! Behold, your king is coming to you; (Zechariah 9:9) In returning and rest you shall be saved; in quietness and in trust shall be your strength. (Isaiah 30:15)

"I know it feels like no one's around but baby you're wrong. Just get rid of the fear and I promise I'll be here, I'll never be gone.

Lord 😭

02032020-22:06

"Unmade decisions have the power to either close us up in fear or open us to love. This both the burden and gift of our indecision. We get to choose which one we carry. What this week will do for you, I hope, is begin to create space within your soul and on your schedule for you to remember who you are, where you love and why it matters. In turn, you'll learn to name the unnamed things within you and discern with God what your next right thing could be."

That's how you conquer, when you get to name it.

what you allow will continue

day twenty one

Thank you Jesus

diwa, daryll, zyn
thank You Jesus for the breakthrough in our relationship
that was indeed years of patching up, adjustment, and growth
but it only worked out the time you said "now"
thank you because i know we learned to be honest
and accept that everything is not under our control
things will disappoint you, hurt you, but it won't remain that way
there's always a room for redemption and reconciliation

jun and chester
i thank you for these brothers Lord
whose hearts were always seeking You
I pray that they will date me na
I pray that I will learn from them
I pray that Your grace will abound more to them
I pray thay You grant the desires of their hearts
Give them clear instuructions and lead them in the Shepherd's way
Bless them and the works of their hands

eat girls
Lord, I thank yiu for these ladies
whom You have raised up from the miry clay
Thank you because You have given them beauty inside and out
I pray that You will continue to invite them
thru Your beauty and Presence incomparable
I pray that they become ladies whose heart beats for You
I pray that they will all the more be lavished in Your love
I pray that you grace us always with confidence living out as Your child
Beloved, Precious, Treasure, Valiant, Royal, Chosen, Loved, Healed, Forgiven
Thank you because they will be testaments and marks of Your faithfulness

earl and rachel
Lord, I pray that You come through in their finances
I pray that You provide for them
Lord, nothing is impossible for You and You never fail
I pray that You strengthen their hearts in this season
I know its not just about the finances but really the condition of their hearts
I pray that You satisfy them with Your faithfulness
I know that You are making their hearts, minds, and souls ready
for the fullness of Your salvation, in coming to understand 
the depth, the height, the weight, the length of Your love
I pray that their brokenness be covered by Your precious blood
I pray that even in the wilderness, You protect them from the schemes of the enemy
Lord, as they wait on You, You are making them faithful
Satisfying them with Your loving kindness

Charles, Joan, KC
I pray Lord that in this season, whatever they are looking for within them will be found
I pray that You keep their joy
I pray that they You will make community be their strength
I pray that they will continue to grow in the knowledge of Your grace and goodness
I pray for KC, God, for this opportunity, may she found her purpose on You
May she found the One her souls longs for, in Jesus'name
I pray that she will grow and bloom for You
I pray for Joan and Charles, to become condfident in confiding in You
I pray that You create a heart in them full conviced that You are a good, good Father

Julian, Arnessa, JC
I pray for Julian, Lord, that He will find the delight in seeking and finding You
May You satisfy this desire of adventuring and learning with You
I pray that You will continue to mature everyone in their relationship with You, Lord
Thank you for being so kind and patient and accepting us
I pray God, that Yiu continue to grow Arnessa in wisdom and stature
I pray that You unleash her in her best
I pray that You protect her from pride of life 
and continue to surrender and see You in the most awesome way
I pray for JC, Lord, that You use his influence to color the world
with Your truth, make Him an ambassador of Your greatness
That You for His life and may You continue to color His world
in awe, light and wonder

Lord Jesus in a span of three days, a lot of things happend. Then January ended.
I pray that You will continue to open my eyes and heart for making me healthy. 
I pray that You help me love and keep myself the way You do
Help me be patient. Help me to bear, trust all things, hope and believe all things
I pray that You help me keep no record of wrongs.
I pray that You help me be wise, to learn to protect, and be mindful always

I will continue to wait until You say so
I will quiet my soul until I reach Home
I will rest and remain and remember
Your grace that will enable and satisfy her
I will trust You even when I can't see
I will trust You wherever You lead
I will trust You even when I don't understand
I will trust You because all You know is good

Thank You Jesus for the gift of grace! 
Thank You Jesus for the gift of home! 
Thank You Jesus for the gift of family! 
Thank You Jesus for the gift of work! 
Thank You Jesus for the gift of relationships! 
Thank You Jesus for always providing! 
Thank You Jesus for the Yes and Amen! 

In Jesus' name, Amen.