Hi Diws!

6/18/2013

Daig pa ng na-breakan ng boyfriend ang sakit na nararamdaman ko...

I, myself, was shock to know that I must now or might now end my disciple-discipler relationship with Cathy, my discipler.

Its not because I'm choked up or I am loosely held on, but, we need to grow.

Just as I have said, as what we have talked in Ate Angela's crib, she is strong and a capable leader. I respect her with her abilities, talent and as who she is. 

I love her.

But we need to grow from our stance.

She is made for more. And I think it will make her stagnant if I continue to stick with her as her disciple. 

We have the minds beyond a normal believer has and the heart that a normal person has.

I envision her to be the companion more than of this discipleship... More than friendship...

The partner that I could be able to talk to with my concerns without any hesitation... Someone whom I can eat with cake... Someone whom I can drink coffee 'til late midnight... Someone who can minister to me more than a discipler can do to me...

The kind of 2 way relationship.

I don't know how would you name that person but she's a soulmate in this battlefield.

She's meant for more, and that's something I know.

She has a beautiful spirit mended by circumstances around her.

Her strength, her passion, her wit - she's definitely unique.

And tonight, I am so hurt, that I might let her go...

Just as we talked that we won't let eachother go, yet still... We have to; we might have to.

This change, we have been waiting for a long time. And we don't want to waste any chance that has been given to us. We have prophesied, we have declared, we are given a vision. We were given the heart that concerns the church so much...

And to think that this change excludes us... is so painful...

And you know, I am somewhere lost right now.

I don't know why did I say that... Its as if, I want to go back and just zip my mouth.

She's been a fortress to me. A friend I never thought I could be able to have.

One thing I realized is that:  fear to let her go is because I have been treasuring her so much like a very beautiful possession I have known for not so long time ago. 

--------------------------------a week after (6/26/2013)-----------------------------------

Philippians 1:3.

It was a heartbreaking week, wasn't it?

I'm speechless but its rather more, I forgot what happened. It was painful for me, and I believe for you too. But it was beautiful.

Its not like I'm a sadist-masochist, but the pain made me realize how important you are to me... How I cherish when we sneak away from the crowd's confusion and just sit back, sip tea or coffee and talk about God.

I love the way we are.

I love how God made us compatible in some ways.

Thank you for praying for me. Thank you for being strong and be the person I need at times I lose confidence.

I honestly envy how strong and honest you are. Those strong points are really beautiful in my eyes.

Forgive for the times I left you when you needed someone the most. When your heart and soul is crying and no one comforts you, and I'm no where to be found. Forgive me.

Yet you have been a blessing to me. Someone that I wanna share with the world - the me of the past won't probably do that. thank you so much for cheering on me, for singing with me in karaokes, for the cake, tea, and coffee times, for staying up late listening to bands in the malls, for making me worry for you, for being a cute tail... for being so strong after all.

Your strength reminds me of Samson. But no pressure. You're not getting macho or anything because of that. And I know just like Samson, you can bar down lots lots of lions, giants, and walls in the future.

You are meant for greatness.

You are beautiful.

You are talented.

You are... AH! ATHENA. :)

God said: There's more.

So be excited. Look ahead.

Thank you for the allowing me to be a part of you. I know our relationship doesn't end here but its already TO INFINITY AND BEYOND. Thank you for supporting me all the way, for encouraging, for the silence at times I need it. You are someone that I am not afraid if ever I eat the words I say, or I have become hypocrite in my foolishness.

Thank you for just being the way you are.

I really thank God for having you. For the path we both took and for the freedom we both have gotten. 

Thank you girl.

Words are futile. My mind can't give the exact words for the journey we've gone through.

Hoping for lots lots lots and lots of more adventure...

And now, not just only with the both of us...

But together with those whom our hearts have chosen to be accountable with.


Love you like a love song Diws. ;)
Sorry for being so gay tonite.

Picsart of the week

The enemy always fights the hardest when he knows God has something great stored for you.

It’s one thing to know that you’re going into a challenging season. You get prepared for it. You get mentally ready. But what about the difficulties that we don’t see coming? The unexpected crisis that catches us off-guard? Sometimes, it can seem so overwhelming that it almost knocks the wind right out of us.


The Scripture says that we shouldn’t be surprised by fiery trials. That’s because the forces of darkness would not be fighting against you if they didn’t know that God has something amazing in your future! Sometimes, those unexpected difficulties are just a sign that you’re on the right track. It’s always darkest just before the dawn appears. The enemy always fights the hardest when you are closest to your breakthrough. The key is to stay the course and keep fighting the good fight of faith. Keep your joy and keep declaring God’s Word over your future. God has promised that you will overcome every obstacle. You will defeat every enemy, and right now, I declare that you will fulfill your destiny in Jesus’ name!


spiritualinspiration.tumblr.com

From me, to you.

Hi. I'm thinking of giving you a letter on graduation day. Well, my months are already countable in the Uni. and I'm thinking of doing a crazy stuff to which I. believe I won't regret.

My letter would probably contain my confession. That I liked you ever since HS days. If only I was pretty chic those days.

You have been the reason why I have rain nostalgia. You are the reason why I have hallway thrills. And the reason why I suppress this kind of feeling.

Thank you for making my life such a klutz. I thank God, even more for the opportunity to meet you once more.

That is it. Anyways, I believe in the saying, IF ITS MEANT TO BE, IT WILL BE without pushing much effort. I mean, that is the reason why I do not do first moves too. I've been there, it was fun but its rather romantic to make the other side make the first step - cheers girls!

The next time, Imma playin’ make me fall if you can... But to evaluate, years of my life after I broke up with my guy, I've been playing the game.

Result?

No one won me over.

Its fun this way anyway.I can focus to my drive in fulfilling my dreams - in God's grace.


P.S. I don't wanna call him with any honorifics because I wanna see and know him just as he is.

Kaichou wa maid sama is down to its last 3 chapters?

Because I'm in the groove

Because her performance stunned me like: HOW CAN YOU MAKE BAMBOO CRYYY??

Lee Grane.

Ever since The Voice PH started, it was as if: Music has never been this good.

Old music, New Music.

The renditions out of the heart.

And the renditions to impress the coaches.

All powerful.

She's interesting. Aside from her unique music style, her voice captivated me...

"...lost in the song..."

This was an accurate definition of someone singing soulfully, so heartfelt...

Aside from that, she was not wrong in choosing Bamboo to be her coach (good job Lee!)

And because I was so curious of her song... The last one, I raped the replay button in youtube when I found it. Here's the original:

And the voice ph has yet still more to offer.

Forgetting doesn’t mean you have your game-face on. You don’t deal with it. Sooner or later it will come back again, twice deceptive than ever. So learn to accept and forgive. When you can’t strike down its weakness, go for its strength.

Just sayin.

360 Degrees Material

so cuuute. :">

This undefined feeling

This feeling that neither I understand nor know...

All it is but a painful feeling...

I feel all eyes are telling me to get rid...

I am shameful; shouldn’t I be?

Why are we different in that passion? Why can they focus it all to You, yet I find myself struggling for it...

I thought I’m fine...

I thought I would be fine...

But this feeling has nowhere to get scratched away...

Welcome to my life!

Lord, I don't know what did I do to deserve everything that quite spoils me now... I feel a little guilty... But over all, thank You so much. Salamat superb! I expected nothing after disappointments and went against You yet still You gave them, entrusted them to me. Others might say I'm over reacting for such small things, pero these are treasures! Thank You for Chi and Kaizen. And I promise to use them to bring out the best in me and to give glory and honor in to Your name!

Colours of the day

Help me know You are near

I don’t know what to say but here are few songs that I believe, is the anguish of my heart:

I admit I have been passive the past few months with this feeling. I’ve been trying to ignore it and then concealing it with the thought: I am alright, fine, and strong. I keep on deceiving myself that my relationship with Him has no problem... That we are doing great...

But up until a while ago, I found out that I am angry with Him for some reason. I believe it was my spirit who already spoke the reason...

I hate to admit but that is partly a yes..

And as part of it, I want to face it now that its been revealed. I want to know the reason behind this sorrowful heart. I don’t want to forget how painful this feeling.

I want to use all my voice screaming...

I want to use all of my energy praising Him with this worse of me...

I want to cry it all out...

I want to just let it all go...

I just want to go back the way we were...

Painful but a very beautiful feeling.

My heart is still hard, my hands are still clenched to fist, and my being is still sealed lock away from You.

My Lord... help me.

Help me to trust and love Your ways, more than I have before. Unless I become someone who looks through the eyes of love, do not get me be too far away from Your heart.

Reveal Your truth as I wake and I take my slumber.

Remember to be merciful and forgiving to me, O God. I who screws up everything that You have beautifully made. I deserve death, nonetheless.

But Your grace has again called me to light.

"Come, my precious daughter." I hear You say.

As who I am right now...

Still Your grace abounds...

My heart is in pain to remember that I have been lost for a time.

But Lord,

I.

Am.

Back.

I’m for a great comeback!

Ranchero Date

My bad

Now... Its my fault... everyone’s throwing their tantrums at me...

After throwing mine to them - with stubbornness and selfishness.

I admit...

I never learn...

Feeding my impatience leads me to a dissatisfaction that isn’t a nice feeling...

I feel like I’ve been acting like a pest to everyone...

I’m no good - needless for others to say, yes, I am a total spoiled brat that wants everything go circling around her hands. And once I don’t like it, it doesn’t suit the mood or I lost enthusiasm in it, I rebel... 

Sin.

Stinks.

Death.

Koizora

Midnight Grace

Eat Out

Ze saturated moves

Monday Blues

Morning Cry

Because I’m having problems with Dad and the rest

Been reading this for quite sometime

Finally, enrolled; My last year in Uni

YesterSunday

What I wore

From Pat with Love; Missing that girl

This. Awesomeness. Remembered Drrr! and Gate Keepers

Hey June!

The first of June’s goodbye

My statement never leaves summer touch

It’s not yet too late to say kuroshitsuji  gives me the chills  I  enjoy

To be able to post beautiful photos as much as possible, share my style, and become informative of my wanderful life.

So yeah... A lovely start for June... And an amazing fact that there’s more to come.

That Hemingway

Morning June!

Storyboard yesterday

Went at blugree with a downplay fashion

This photo would probably look good with color  grading

Lovely quote

My line

The Don and Donna