There's something I want to say but it feels like the time's not right. There are certain things that I want to do but I don't know how.
Everything's not enough today. My words. My thoughts. My actions. I'm sobering too much and it's making my life obese... dying.
If there's something I want to get busy, it's what I'd love to do. Doing it like it would remind me that this ain't be happening without Him.
God, will that time come?
I'm stuck in the moment. Truth be told I am dissatisfied. I want to be with people who have dreams, goals to move further in greater heights, to be with people who has mind like me, to be with a group that would make me not just want more but do more.
Tch. I'm in the office and I want to cry.
I'm raw O God. I know You are having a heart surgery to me right now. Because despite all these things, I am still wanting Your ways, I still live in Your word, and I choose to wait.
Fear that maybe there's nothing for me out there really. Frustrated why can't I just live the life I want. Am I that really ungrateful? Do I really have to go through a lot?
My heart cries.
But when I think of Your majesty - how You created everything without waste. You have tamed me.
O God, You satisfy me. You are everything that I need. It is Your love that I want. It is Your word that I thirst. It is Your heart that I seek. It is in Your Kingdom that I want to be. You have chosen me as I am, and I am grateful to respond when You have called me.
I don't know if it's for me. I hurt. But You know what's best for me 'ayt? God I entrust You my life. I know Your ways are good and righteous. I know You think higher and deeper. I just give it all to You.
I know I will have to go a lot, I have to learn a lot, I have to do a lot. You hold me life. Make haste and hold if if I get weary doing, seeing and speaking goodness and righteousness. Fulfill Your word that to those You have called, after all the little suffering, you will make us strong, firm and steadfast.
To the future me, wait for me.
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