For a matter of time, I was thinking of buying a new pair of shoes. I'm wearing retirable ones that anytime would give up on me. Am I too cruel for using it too much? Hahaha.
I could buy months earlier if it were not of the design, color, price - personal preferences and all that stuff. So yeah, I waited for months praying, my shoes could not give up on me now. Whenever I go to malls, I would never skip checking on sale items.
And yesterday, finally.
I found it.
The I-could-trade-this-much-for-this-pair.
Hahaha. I'm a being dramatic over this? I'm enjoying tho. Hahaha.
Shoes for all occasions. A touch of sophistication and formality will never depart from it. And I guess it's not a preference anymore but the me.
Sooo... that's it? Hahaha. Actually I'm thinking twice whether I share it here or not. I have pending to here but here I am jumping over those supposed articles.
You see, I got to meet a guy in my local community. He loves God. He loves God's people. He lives the vision for the next generation. He's got an ambition. He's cool. And yeah, he's a musician.
THIS IS NOT A LOVE STORY, OKAY? Just making this clear. In case there be any misunderstanding. Hahaha.
And I never noticed him until recently. There was nothing significant really. I was admiring him unconsciously, probably, I don't know how it works. But hey, I admire him. I suddenly got distracted over the thought of admiration because I know I should not.
Lately, I was really distracted. I admit it. There were instances that whenever I get my mind idle, I would think of that person. Then it would frustrate me because again, it's just so wrong. My leader told me I'm in another season, and since this is something new to me (now that I'm in Jesus), I need to captive every thought making it obedient to Christ, and focus my eyes on Him alone.
I know what I needed to do. That's what I thought at first. But it was a different when you come across it. It's difficult. Specially when you realize are still a working progress in the Lord, you know that it's the Lord that you need. No one else. Nothing else.
I was working things out because I didn't want the feeling. Yes it is pleasurable, but I know it's not yet for me. It is desirable, but I do not want to be distracted. It is indeed a wonderful thing to admire someone but I want to protect myself from something that should not be awaken when it's not yet time... when it's not really for me.
"Peace, be still. Stop struggling. Is there anything too hard for the Lord?"
And teardrops waterfall in my eyes. It was difficult. I was not in denial anymore. I know I admire the person. And I have to let go. I held on Him, to the only one that could satisfy my soul. I held on Him, to the one whom I belong. I held on Him, to the one holds my heart.
Wondering why I sound serious about this when reality check is: We are JUST acquaintances. Yep. You read it right. We are not some kind of an item. And I got this strong admiration for him.
Because I believe women should keep themselves pure before the Lord. I believe that they must keep themselves busy for the things of the Lord. And that they must not awaken love until it's time. I believe that they are pursued; women are princesses that waiting and trusting whom the Lord presents to them. This is not my fairy tale.
At least, that's what I believe.
So the connection in buying shoes? Hahaha. I don't know. Probably that was just an intro. Nothing significant. Meaningless to my season. :) I'd like to take that when God speaks to me about what I'm going through, it's going to be as clear as a face to face conversation. So there's nothing I'd like to listen, more than realizations from buying shoes, more than hunches of what happened.
41 Let your steadfast love come to me, O Lord,
for I trust in your word.43 And take not the word of truth utterly out of my mouth,44 I will keep your law continually,forever and ever,and shall not be put to shame,which I love.and I will meditate on your statutes.
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