Happy New Yeaaar!

Alam mo yung New Year na New Year, NO agad ang answered prayer mo.

Edi Wow.

Ikaw na Lord.

Hahaha. Gurabi tologooo. 

Di ko alam anong mararamdaman ko. Pero seriously, it was a recalling NO until this morning's clear and loud NO.

Wondering what this is about?

...

(after 10 hours)

Sigh.

This is the worse feeling ever.

To be teased to someone you don't know by someone you admire.

Like... can someone shut him uppp? #icri

...

The moment I knew he was coming, I started to doubt whether to come or not. I argued to myself, "Why would I miss this chance because of him? Besides I'm the one who's got an issue with him, so I got to handle this well."

I was kind of ignoring the person the entire ride. I was not interacting well, maybe trying to gain momentum too (since I was not familiar with the driver).

Then it came, that moment. I WANT TO REDEEM MYSELF FROM SUCH DISGRAAACE!

Annoying topics, I can't handle them. It's too much. And I'm sorry I can't be so maldita to intimidate people as I should. It's either I let out a laughter or cry over the matter. I have patience for teasing, BUT HIM TEASING ME TO SOMEONE I EVEN DON'T KNOW AND CARE? Like the heeeeck. Don't you know how everything is hammering inside meee? Can he also get his share for this?

AND YES, HE'S THE NO GOD TOLD ME. And giving me such feels right? Sigh. My fault too. For letting such topics bother me. I should really learn how to choose topics to be affected with.

Now I seriously don't know how to handle situation alike. But everything is civil to us when it comes to ministry. I'd like to know him actually, become really good friends with him because he's amazing. But the more I get closer, the more I hear a voice that asks, "Will you accept him with all these imperfections?"  

I don't know.

I mean, stop. No.

I just want to enjoy more joyrides, travels and tambays as much as this season allows. I want these people to understand that I want to be friends with them genuinely without touching that sensitive topic. I want them to respect that so I can move on and get along with them with all sincerity & purity. I want them to be my good brothers I can confide in. I hope to impart to them. I hope to hear wisdom from them. I hope to accomplish great things together with them. I hope to hear their faith. I hope to hear their struggles. I hope to hear their love and hope in Jesus. I hope to enjoy this season with them without anything distracting me. I hope they get to help me with this.

I know they won't be able to read this but my prayer goes for them. That they become great men that respect and protect women in their thoughts, with their speech and actions. That they will become the men Jesus led and taught how to love.

Rooting for my brothers in Christ! :)