I want to...

"I want to save lives."

After watching the news about this UP prodigy, graduating 1.004, I asked myself: What's next for her? Then she said those lines. It's as if, it's the first time I have understood every word she spoke.

To save lives.

To save lives.

To save lives.

Those words really rang into my being. From those words, I thought, she was able to find what she really wanted to do.

She wanted to save lives.

And there I felt it. A soothing brush in my soul, lifting the weighs of  jailed years in my heart. I felt it. Really. Right in my chest. Why didn't I recognize the very voice that has been inside me saying, "I want to help." I long forgotten about that feeling because I thought it wasn't going to help me when I grow up and work. 

Practicality. That's who I cultivated in this world. Fearing I won't be able to survive if I only think about helping, I need to earn. Thinking what others said, helping others won't get you anywhere to become rich, I gave up on it. I mustered courage to face the reality as so they say, but the more I come closer to it, the more I realize I'd like to be someone who could be of great help. Be it the one who closes the curtain when the show ends, or those who are at the backstage preparing the front liners. I would gladly offer a hand.


During college, almost everything was restricted. Because the only thing that must be is that I should graduate on time. I don't know if my parents were not okay with me having extra-curricular activities but they were... protective. It's hard to move without any moral support you know. So yeah. I underwent great ordeals with them regarding my fondness of doing extra-curricular activities, but God knows how I never regretted participating any of those.  And I wish I could've done more.

Then I thought of words that might go along with it.
'I want to build', 
'I want to create',
'I want to inspire', 
'I want to be just like...' 
And countless of hopeful words.

And I would like to say, this is not just some kind of American Dream as they say but a path  you can surely build up in the good future. The drive of continuing. The purpose of your existence. There must be a lot of things these thoughts might offer you so do not shun it away. If people say there is nothing you can benefit from desiring it, do not lose heart. Because I tell you, there's no one that has a heart like you do.

Friends, time will come when you realize want you want to do. If it comes in a very specific manner, congratulations!  all the courage in the universe and never give up, you shall find your way up there in no time. And if you are the same as me whose been and still picking up the pieces in the great puzzle, pursue it. The moment you had that puzzle get to solve, it's gonna be worth it.

I never intended this post to be this long but I thought I wanted to remember this and maybe share a thought for some readers out there. It's because times like these are answered prayers. And I genuinely honor it. The fact that I cannot deny in my soul that I want to help, someday I shall be in the nation, in the nations. I don't know what lies ahead but I have something to hold on. That in everything that I experience, it's one step towards this goal in my heart: to be of great help. 

And satisfaction has dawned in me.

God has set you apart. Do not feel outcast if you have desire the world may never understand. God placed that in your heart because you are the best, the fit person for it. Cherish it. Nurture it. Someday, you will meet people who will guide you, whom you will have the same desire to make a better future in this world.