"Believe in my son"

Today, I woke up unusally early. So early that I get to ask and realize things that I want... I think this is what it's like to be getting old...

I woke up realizing for the 2nd time how hard long distance relationship are. Writing this, I cried a prayer to God... I realized how lonely it is, how hard it's gonna be and will it work for me? I asked myself then if this is something that I want for the future... Will it work out? I thought and prayed for those relationships who are likely of this.

Earl, I wanna tell you that I don't want ldr, but I can't. It's sad. Very sad. I can't help but think about Nanay, and all she went through. Even your Mom. I can't imagine going through ups and downs without you... and the children, I don't want them to grow without you. You see, I understand the current situation, and it really breaks my heart to realize that this is a season we don't know until when, but a season that has God's reason. 

I've had a a perfect redemptive story in mind for my future... for my next generation... and since the day I met you, everything changed. It was everything I never imagined for myself. And life gave me a deeper sense of living, all the more waiting and wanting God to reveal His fingerprints over our story.

There were days when I cried myself to give up on the thought of us. Because it was something hard to imagine, hard to grasp, something beyond of control. But you know, everytime this happens God gives a Word to make me stay. In the past, I tried to battle it. But then, I just realized how important you are to God and to me. 

This time, He said in my heart, "Believe in my son." Obviously, you are not the context because I was reading "The Attributes of God" but I know He was speaking of you. I don't want to sound superficially, mystically, or over spiritually, because I maybe am wrong. But I believe that when we talk to God, He answers. When we seek Him, He meets us in our questions. Not by answering according to our logic, but according to His character. 

So if there's a reason for me to pursue this, it's because I know God will work things out for us. I don't know how but I know He is good, and all that we're going through is sifted through crucibles so that what is ours, is ours and surely will last.

God, I surrender to Your will. If this is the cup that You have for me, let me take it. This story is not new to you. And thinking about it, I survived my important long distance relationships thriving... Tatay, friends and for the best example, The Lord's. That even though You're not physically here with us, but You are in us. You are in every promise You make. You are in everything that consumes us inside out. You are in all of Your creation and You speak everything into creation. So as I think and remember all of these, I will be reminded that it is for Your glory that things happen. It may or may not work, but all creation will speak Your glory.

Thank You for grace and mercy that overflows. Thank You for love and goodness that sustain and hold us closer. And I as go through deep waters, I will not fear for You are with me. The past will no longer hold me back nor the future withhold what's for me, because You are God. You make a way where there is no way, and You make things new. So even in this waiting God, You remain good, powerful and faithful. And with all that I am, may I forever trust, love and serve You.