A short about this vlog:
I remember a statement from a leader's conference where it was mentioned that, this is also a devil's work... abortion, divorce, mental health issues... all aims to destroy what God has anointed - you, marriage, families, the future generations.
On our issues, weakness, insecurities, difficulties... Speaking about it liberates. Speaking about it helps in your processing. Speaking about it heals. Speaking about it will help others see light.
As much as you always try to live rightly, you will still be a burden and be difficult. Worse, you will hurt others... and be hurt.
Disclaimer, I'm not married and I have no the same experiences with Ms. Carla. But I had my fair share of mental breakdowns. I am prone to anxiety. Depression also manifested in my health. I was denying that I was not mentally healthy. I was not diagnosed clinically, I tried, to be honest. But thankfully, I have not reached that point. I did not also went through counseling, because I thought it was too personal and I was always business with myself. During that season, I was in total indenial of what I was going through. Being alone in my own misery was a punishment I brought to myself. And that was something I don't wish for anybody.
I was thankful for everyone who never judged me as I was going through that internal turmoil. It might've been good at covering up or pretending, but God never turned a blind eye on it. As I was all "Lord, I don't wanna be sinful... Lord, I don't want to hurt anybody... Lord, I'm strong in you... Lord, You are enough..." - trying to keep the relationship as if it was going to be break if I get bad or weak. The Lord just made me feel that "No matter what, I will stay." Indeed, He is what the world is not.
Remembering this momentous moments, makes me see God bigger. As I have seen Him big, that makes me fearful. I also see Him get bigger and bigger in His love, compassion, kindness, mercy and grace for me and to others.
No comments:
Post a Comment