One year

One year ago, he laid down his intension to pursue me.

The other year ago, I was still healing from a betrayal issue.

The other years, I was breaking from a triggered trauma.

A few years ago, I started to get to know him.

I really wonder how I ended up with him. I could've closed the door for him and walk away from him. But here I am, loving every part of him. The painful and happy days that I am with him, adds color to my world. I don't know why I'm sentimental today, but I just realized how thankful I am to the Lord that Earl has changed his heart to make things right. As I look back, the painful nights that I always run to the Lord for all the rejection that he made me feel and for the days that I was left hanging, confused of what he is doing. As I realized that the more I was building fortified walls not to get hurt and be right, the Lord kept me and held me in all those times.

Looking back, I can't help but just thank the Lord for all He's done for me. If I think about myself, I want everything right, so badly because I think how even in my own way I can honor God. But with all that had happened, my reputation is nothing. Maybe I'm too obsessed doing things right because that's my insecurity, I can't do everything right. I always need God's grace. Not just to redeem me so I can forgive and accept myself but also to empower me to continue and be better.

Now, this year, I am already half a year with Earl.

This year, I am living freely who I am.

This year, I am discovering and learning life.

This year is the year of the Lord's favor.