Somehow, I'm getting excited and nervous for the tomorrow's retreat. Wee. I've been stubborn for sometime. I've been so hard yet empty. I went under brokenness and cried for nights. I got tired. I saw my flaws and the root was revealed to me. For sometime, I wished to break free from something that has been imprisoning me. I wanted to just fly and be somewhere else I could find rest. I tried to hide with a smile and laughter but my darkness can't be denied. I can use all the pretension I know but in Him, nothing is a secret, everything is meant to be revealed. I fear. I stumble. I got up. I continued. I wanna see His face. I wanna touch Him. I wanna be true to myself. I don't want to hide anymore and forget what had just happened without further forgiveness. Yes. Be excited with His greatness. I am excited of how would He like me to see His greatness, His mercy, His love, His face. I am excited how will He reveal Himself to me. I am looking forward. I want to break free. God to grow up. I want to go back. I want to be back on track. I wanna see things clearly again. I wanna be empty and be filled with His and only His presence, His lovely words, His gifts. Quite of a nervous, but I'll be FREE from everything, I'll be serving Him. I wanna understand truth. I wanna understand love. I wanna know trust. I wanna know Him, I wanna come to Him.

I WANNA COME TO TOUCH HIM AND SEE HIM FACE TO FACE, SAYING, FATHER, I TOO AM HERE.