September, it is.

Hey there, it's September~

Well. just finished reading this month's chapter for Stardust Wink and Orange Marmalade. I lots of it (I think) this week and I wasn't able to publish it here because I was taking it as stress-relief thing.

Our feasibility study's done with defense and now we're done with revisions. Praise God! I just need to focus more on study FIN 312 and FIN MAN. FIN 111 is not much that hard - it's because of GOd's help though :">

Our PC's monitor is so bright that it hurts my eyes. Sigh.

Of course, lots of things just as this month has started. Everything was all in a blink. The numerous earthquakes that had happened, Kaye's explanation of "falling in love" in, Father God's rebuke, awkward moments, "I don't like this" moments, dull moments and .. there's just so many to name.

I'm turning 20.

I AM.

Sigh. I'm getting older and I still act like a child. Haha. Anyways, I wonder what's of this age.

20. I am getting 20 years old a few days from now.

Excited?

Maybe.

O, good times. I just miss the old times. The old times that can never be brought back. The times that I believe the present can equal and the future can surpass. I just need to keep my hopes right?

Today's just so humid. I can't take it, I stink. I feel sticky. @_@

I wonder what's going to be. After this year, and the years to come, what will it be?

Everything.

Before that, Intramural this year is already this Monday. I'm participating the editorial event just like last year. I pray to win this event. I know, I can. ^^

Lord, will I enjoy this years' gathering? I hope to see and play with them just like before. I know that there's always more to come. THERE WILL ALWAYS BE.

I just need an expectant heart.

Randomly, I just feel that I am that bad. REALLY, REALLY BAD AND HATEFUL PERSON. I don't do good, like others do. I don't know. It's like, I'm no good? Haha. How's that?

I am annoying right?

I don't speak much. I like to be alone. I don't want to be rebuked. 

I DON'T WANT TO KNOW WHAT OTHERS THINK OF ME IN THE PAST UPTO THIS PRESENT.

I am afraid. Others might have think I already have showed the me to them, but is it?

I am afraid to face the me that they know. I feel like I'm going be rejected. I feel like I might get them disappointed with what I am doing, what I have done. I'm afraid that I might even disappoint myself for not reaching their standard.

I easily cry, I mope when things don't go my way. I get angry when it's annoying, I get frustrated when everything gets in my nerves.

Selfish? Coward? Unkind?

I know I am not perfect but this makes me remember how I am very much forgiven, understood, loved and washed by grace and mercy by the Father.

I'm not your average girl.