Family Feud, when will you end?

When we are at peak, we tend to pick whatever we want to hear, to believe and to live. And because of this, we become so stubborn, so hard that when someone tells us what we are doing is not good, we identify it as something against our "good morale".

Learning the harder way.

We must know that this ain't easy if there is so called the "easier way". Don't you think? It's ironic why people wanted it this way.

Sometime ago, I heard rumors about what is happening again inside the family. I mean, does the ends really justify the means? It's hard to judge since we are not facing the same problem, we are dealing the same circumstances and we are not making the same choices. But who can see inside your circle are those people who are observant, or let us say, concerned about you. It might seem tough and rough but the thing is, they do care about you.

You know, I am really grateful to realize that whenever here are times that I wanted a thing so badly that it hurts God doesn't give it to me in an instant. Yes, I go through difficult times because of this. Tears. Disappointments. Hatred. Name it, I (bet you too) have tried it - for lots and lots of times. Becoming vulnerable to it was not easy since I've promised myself to keep my trust away from people.

But God doesn't want me to live that way. He wants me to become vulnerable to everything. Equilibrium of life. Joy and Sorrow. Amazement and Disappointment. Laughter and Tears. But what's so great about this?

He makes me be contented of the green pastures that I am lying in.

He makes me realize that there's so much in what He has given - what I have 

that I need not to look for other things.

He makes me realize that He is that portion that really satisfies the longing of our hearts

- which we are mistaken for the things of the world.

This kind of encounter with Him is matchless. His discipline doesn't forbid you to have what you want to have but He tells: There's a best time for you to have it, don't hurry (don't make unnecessary things by doing your own way to have it).

Yes I cry because this is my attitude, this is who I am for years. But He doesn't want me to continue to live like this so... It's better that I cry over it, get angry over it, get disappointed, and hate everything. As long as I don't take the snake the enemy is trying to lure because of that longing he is trying to satisfy.

Praise God!

Thank You Lord!

Thank You for not letting me go even though I keep holding back lots and lots of grief. Thank you for holding me gently even if it pains you, it wounds you - even if I don't acknowledge Your help. Thank You Lord! Hallelujiah! Praise be to God, Amen.