Inspired? Let's have it that way.

3:00 pm.
4:00 pm.
Do I want to join the culmination night?

An hour of preparation for an event is cumbersome. It makes me shambles into bits. Yea. I ain't got sense of girl scout in me. Like what just happened? I took it for granted.

It's fearsome.

It's dead-end.

For sometime, that was what is going in my mind. I'm boring. I'm useless. I'm lazy. Do you think someone like me can go the farthest of my dreams?

Insecurity drives me insane.

Bubbles started to popped out when Arianne told me "Take it easy Ate. Di natin alam anong pwedeng mangyari (We don't know what is yet to come)." And from that second, I grew ashamed of myself.

Someone younger than me is telling me to take it easy. To never hurry.

To tell you, I don't hurry. Let's face the fact that I'm dying with my laziness day by day.

That everyday, I grew tired of myself because I can't do nothing but do what I want.

Everyone around me is like a bee while I'm sitting pretty.

Well that's something to be grateful right? But my mind's kind'a crazy right now... outdated... so... what do we expect?

Anyways... Because bubbles popped out, I was able to hold my humanity - making sense of my bored world.

"Nakita ko agad si Sir (I saw Sir in that instant)!" says my neighbor in my E9 table - I thought it was their unit head. I kept my composure like I'm someone sophisticated over my silence. I even wonder how do I look or what aura shrieks off from me the way I acted.

I turned my head because everyone was dilly-dallying and saw who they meant. I was forcing something inside me but I can't figure out what it is. I stared... no, rather... I glared at him in a distance...

There was nothing. No magic. No spark. No intensity at all. Nothing like what happen earlier this morning when I saw him. IF you must know, this article is not meant for him. This is something random 'kay? So let's continue...

Always and always, I avoid him with all my might. Maybe I'm still in denial but I don't want anything about him. I mean, yeah~ I'm the only one who's got malice over here that is why it is always hard day by day to feel how happy I am to accidentally meet in the corridors...

*sealing the emotions away

mmmmhm...

Too much from him...

When he disappeared from my sight, maybe because I my mind was filled with bubbles again. I fixed myself properly, then I thought: I really like parties like these. Dressing up. Formalities. No matter how people hates sophisticated gatherings like this, I can't make myself hate it. I must admit, I'm in-love with this...

The thought made me smile.

Actually, there's nothing wrong dressing up the way you want. God won't condemn us if we love to dress, we love to make ourselves beautiful, if we are silent... We are for who we are. And there is a purpose for that, I believe.

People has always a lot to say, but stand your ground. Never back down from what they say, from those people who don't know you. You are guided by God, so chin up! Walk the run way with confidence and pose beauty in the red carpet!

I don't want to be like that someone who spoke: I wish I could've done more in college. I was afraid upon hearing that from the speaker. I don't know if you had those moments in your life when you said to yourself: I want to do that. Then you end up only saying that because you don't have that confidence.

I wonder if that was what the person is talking about... those should've, would've, could've... confidence...

At my state, really...

A damsel in distress...




Though, I'm not losing any hope.

Right now might be tough but decision has a power. And change is the greatest offense.

I am bound for greatness.

That life is waiting for me.

This is just a preface in my new book. And there shall be lots of disappointment, heartaches, goodbyes, betrayal and frustrations to come. But spite of that, these great challenges will give rise to things beyond what I am hoping for in Him.

He is my confident hope.

That is my greatest desire, if one must see and look into my heart. Right now, I just need to finish what's on hand, make the best of it. Whatever is given now will be something that I can use in the future - as much as tomorrow.

Nothing's getting useless because everything He made is good.

So I'll end this night with, "Even if I can't now, I will be able to someday!" something from Liberta of Arcana Famiglia.





See you in my wildest dream come true fella!