We can handle it.

I'm beautiful, I just don't know it.

Haha. Poor little thing. :))

Anyways, doing something you don't understand is quite hard don't you think?

Lately, I've been in wondering why do I really have to talk about it all over again. I mean, wasn't that enough? Well I guess it's his fault for not listening. And also my bad for the misunderstanding. Sigh. This is bad. This is just so bad.

I admit that I don't really understand the situation. That all I have to do is obey what He wants me to do. Yes. I want that. I just need that. I don't understand. I really don't understand why. I seem to be blinded with what's the right thing to do. I don't have the courage. Neither I have the confidence.

You know, I wanted to back down. I wanted to go back that life. But it would always be WANTS, I can never go back to it. I know how hard was life back then. I know how much difference it gave. Even if I wanted so badly to go back, I always end up looking at Him.

He keeps on reminding me on things that I see. He keeps on reminding me of the commitment that I made. He made me realize the things I need to grasp in order to continue. He makes His in me. No matter how I try to escape, no matter how try to turn back, He won't just let go of me. You know why? It's because of love. It's because He loves me that He doesn't want me to go back to where, what I used to be.

That life was the real torture. That life was full of darkness. That life was full of frustration and problems. That life made me become this troublesome person. I don't understand. I wanted to but all I can think is how much I wanted to serve Him like David did.

Even if He would look stupid in the eyes of the people, but He's would just want to convey his praises and worship to God - His service and life to God. (2 Samuel 6:21-22)

People would generally get lost when things went on their way. But because they chose to follow, they saw where they are now and is crying to see the light. Times like these are tough, but remember, God is able. That in the midst of darkness, in the middle of being lost, you've got the light. Look at yourself, for He has given you His light? Isn't that great? ♥ (Matthew 13:3-15)

Remember what God is telling you now, Rau. Obedience is better than sacrifice. (1 Samuel 15:22)

Obedience. Obedience. Obedience.

Look only to your God okay? Everything will be fine. Just look up and everything will just flow. Don't worry, for God settled the time. :]

Don't give up okay?