Vanilla Twilight

In the autumn on the ground, between the traffic and the ordinary sounds I am thinking signs and seasons while a north wind blows through

i watch as lovers pass me by Walking stories, who's and how's and why's Musing lazily on love Pondering you

I'll give it time, give it space and be still for a spell When it's time to walk that way we wanna walk it well

It's my caution not the cold there's no other hand that i would rather hold the climate changes, I'm singing for the strangers about you

don't keep time, slow the pace Honey, hold on if you canthe bets are getting surer now that you're my man

I'll be waiting for you baby I'll be holding back the darkest night Love is waiting 'til we're ready, 'til it's right Love is waiting

I could right a million songs about the way you say my name I could live a lifetime with you and then do it all again and like I can't force the sun to rise or hasten summer's start, neither should I rush my way into your heart

- Love is Waiting, Brooke Fraser

This song, I could remember Ate Roselle telling me, "Kini gyud laging Love is Waiting ni Brooke noh..." Hahaha. And then she would just laugh at me with my stories. Ahhh... Miss her. I think I'll cry if she comes home...

I've been thinking, whether I'm in a cycle... in a cycle of 
repeating the same mistakes, 
doing bad decisions,
learning acceptance,
or simply learning

But one thing I'm sure though, he's not a mistake in my life. Hehe.

I mean, he definitely made me realize a lot of things. It was (and still) tough to be with him, because I feel like I have to consider everything when he's there around. But that's what's amazing (I guess, haha) because I can see myself making conscious decisions to be healthy... to protect him (hopefully) and protect the people around me... And no, I'm far perfect, to say that I can actually do these things consistently, faithfully, and always in good faith... hahahaha, I tell you, sometimes (or most of the times hahahaha) my naivety gets in the way. In other words, I get too irrational or emotional, to the point of leaving the consequences be. See how selfish? Hahaha. And now, that's what I wanna address. A quote from Ate Melai, walang Lordship kapag di kayang isurrender yung weakness. Lordship matters. It reaaally matters. I can give you lot of reasons as to whys and how-comes as to choosing this. But it won't matter if I can't follow through it right? Hahaha. Anyway, point is, I wanna make things right. 

I wanna love God right. 

I want to love him right (well, if God permits 😅).

That's why, probably I want to learn; there's willingness to go through season. 
Because I still believe love is beautiful when it's done right.
You get to grow.
You get to bless others.
You get to honor God (which is all that matters).
This is God's will for us. It's good, pleasing and perfect.
That we get to live the best He has prepared for us, 
through trusting
His way
His will
His timing.

I don't know what's up for this story, but I'll leave it here. Let's leave it to God. He's the Master Storyteller after all. And He's just amazing, because He leaves the best parts of life to be discovered. 😊

So one step at a time.
Breathe.
Don't rush.
Grace for every race.
Life is good.
And it always gets better.